


Wounded Wing

by B_pi_writing



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Amputee AU, Feels, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Tags will update as needed, amputee!Hinata, canonverse, prosthetic au, supportive!Kageyama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-05-28 21:39:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6346408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_pi_writing/pseuds/B_pi_writing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata Shoyou has a handicap after a car accident from his childhood. He has never told anyone about the prosthetic because he doesn't want to be seen as weak and incapable. But whenever rain comes his leg flairs up in pain that he can't control. So when a heavy downpour falls one day, his secret is revealed unwillingly to the team and some don't take it well. Though he thinks his leg is a burden, Kageyama helps Hinata discover that maybe it isn't all bad.</p><p> </p><p>(Chapters 1-5 are the original chapters of the story, the rough draft. Chapter 6 is an Author's Note and Chapter '7' and '8' are chapters 1 and 2 of the final draft story. The word count for chapter 1 and 2  is 14,954. Enjoy!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Downpour (Rough Draft)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [It Hurts](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1962555) by [Andramion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andramion/pseuds/Andramion). 



> This whirlwind of a piece is my first ever contribution to the Haikyuu fandom so of course it has to feature my first ever ship, a.k.a. the most basic ship of them all. I read a thing (you should read it too, it's really good) and was inspired. And so this monster was born.
> 
> Again, the first five chapters are included in the rough draft version. Chapters 7 and 8 are the first two chapters of the final draft. And let me tell you, this fic took a whole nother turn that I was not prepared for in the least. But... beware of the tags changing as new things are added.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something unwanted and unexpected happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter of the rough draft. The rough draft ends at 5 "Know". The first chapter of the final draft is out.

_“Shoyou! Shoyou!” A woman’s voice kept screaming my name. Her voice was vaguely familiar. She kept screaming and screaming and yet I didn’t want to open my eyes. The lids felt heavy, not worth dragging open. But the woman kept screaming for me to open my eyes. She sounded so desperate I didn’t want to disappoint her. I opened my eyes looking around not getting the clear details because my vision was blurred. I could feel out that I was on cold, hard ground. It was bumpy too. It felt awful. I blinked, a little of the blurriness vanishing. I saw on the ground around me a sea of crimson._ It’s such a beautiful color _, I thought._ Where is it coming from? _I looked around, becoming more and more frantic, although I don’t know why. Was it from the screaming that made me so afraid? I don’t know. But as I looked down I realized why I was so afraid. The crimson sea was flowing from my right leg. From the half of it that was still left._

Sweat dripped from my face onto the sheets, dark, small circles dotting them. I ran my fingers through my hair reminding myself that I’m okay now. That I’ve learned how to live with it. My handicap. This all was just the normal routine I did in the morning. The same thing every morning; same dream, same reminder. Although it sometimes got to me that I was having the same dream and having to do the same routine every morning even after 8 years. And I sometimes surprised myself that I am still able to be so happy and energetic. I guess it’s because I’ve learned how to be grateful for the things I have and wishful for the things I’ve lost.

This morning, however, was raining hard. Which meant my stump hurt more than usual. Usually, in the morning at first, it was a dull ache that was easy to ignore. So easy it would eventually go away later into the day. But when it was raining, the stump would throb, sending large waves of pain every few minutes or so. I hate it, but I deal with it. I don’t know why it hurts more when it’s raining. Something to do with the nerves trying to connect with something that’s not there anymore. It just frustrates me more. But, as I said, I deal with it.  
I swing my legs over the edge of my bed, rubbing the stump to try to ease the pain, which works but I can’t do it all day. I attach my prosthetic, biting my lip. The clamps always hurt to attach, digging into my skin. I stand hesitantly, testing the prosthetic. Working as good as usual. I stay there for a moment, trying so hard to mentally prepare myself for the day ahead. _Practice is going to be rough today._ I think, eyeing my leg, listening to the rain pounding against my window. I look up at my clock as I curse loudly. “Shoyou, you idiot! You’re gonna be late to school!” I pull on my school clothes and bound down the stairs, stuffing a quick breakfast of cereal into my mouth. “Bye, Mom!” I yell, grabbing my school things and racing out the door.

The rain rolls down my back, soaking my jacket, as I race down the hill on my bike. I take my hands of the handlebars and glide down smoothly. I raise them in the air, yelling, “Yahoo!” all the way down. I’ve made up my mind that today is going to be a good day despite the downpour.

******

The bell of the last class of the day clanged, signaling the end of the school day and waking me up. I had slept through almost all of my classes. Again. _I really should start paying attention._ I sling my bag over my shoulder and race to the gym, trying to beat the constant rain. As I come nearer I hear the familiar sound of volleyballs bouncing onto the hardwood floors and grunts of frustration. _Kageyama._ I smiled.

Shaking my head, I went to the door, watching Kageyama practicing his already amazing jump serves. “Oi, Bakageyama!” He looked over at me and let the ball he had just tossed in the air bounce to the ground. Kageyama’s brows twitched in annoyance. I felt the urge to shrink away from the dark aura emanating from his stare. I kept a bright smile on my face for my defense. “We’re gonna practice our quick today, right?” Kageyama’s expression softened microscopically, but enough for me to notice. He nodded curtly. My smile broadened. “Yes! See you soon!”. I ran quickly to the club room to change into volleyball clothes. I was the only one in there as per usual. Kageyama and I would often race to be the first ones to the gym and we almost always were. I was just later than usual today. 

I finished changing, casting my school things clumsily off to the side, not bothering to properly put them away. I was too eager to practice. I ran out of the room, down the stairs, and froze. Pain shot up my leg rendering me motionless. I collided with the mud face first. Crying out in pain, I clutched my leg trying to soothe the ache.

“Hinata?!” Suga’s voice echoed with worry. _Crap._ He ran over to me, Daichi and Asahi in tow. “Hinata, what happened?” The tender worry in his voice reminded me of my mother whenever I got a bad cut when I was younger.

“Oh, nothing. It’s fine- I’m fine. I just…” I trailed off trying to find a good excuse. _I just... what?_ “My foot got caught in the mud and I landed badly on my knee. And face. Mostly my face.” The trio’s worried looks subsided into laughter.

“Be careful next time, Hinata. We’re heading to get changed. You and Kageyama start warming up with your quick.” Daichi and Asahi turned, still laughing at my story. Suga paused, giving me one final look of concern, before turning to follow them. I got up and continued to the gym this time walking. _That was close._ Close to my team finding out I had a prosthetic leg. No one knew about my leg except for my family, the school nurse, and -obviously- my doctors. It wouldn’t be a complete nightmare if my team (and eventually my classmates) knew though I knew people would treat me differently. They would treat me as if I was fragile and needed to be protected. And I hated thinking about that. Especially in volleyball I would be underestimated or Coach Ukai wouldn’t let me play as often or I would be told to take it easy in practices. Because of this I preferred people didn’t know about my… _handicap._ I stepped into the gym, smiling still. Kageyama looked over at me.

“Tch,” He scolded, “What took you so long, dumbass?” I rolled my eyes.

“He fell.” I jumped, startled by Tanaka’s laughing voice behind me. “On his face. It was _hilarious._ ” Tanaka looked at me. “Yeah, didn’t think your sempai noticed, did you Hinata?” Tanaka’s shoulders shook as he laughed heartily. Kageyama smirked. I rolled my eyes at the two.  
Coach Ukai’s voice echoed through the gym. “Alright guys, we’re gonna be doing three-on-three’s today.” Noya’s cheers seemed to bounce off the walls almost as quickly as he was when he walked in. Asahi, Suga, and Daichi followed the energetic boy into the gym. Daichi clapped his hands, commanding the attention of the players in the room.

“Come on, guys! Get in the usual teams.” The game got going quickly. I was on a team with Kageyama and Tanaka versus Daichi, Suga, and Tsukishima. Coach blew the whistle, signaling the start of the game. We were at an advantage because Kageyama was serving. He did his jump serve but it was more powerful than usual. It was about to hit the court when Daichi dove for it and sent it back over. The game quickly picked up the pace.  
Our team was faring well. We were ahead, but not by much. Only by three points. Two now. I missed a receive.

“Dumbass, Hinata! Practice on your receives more!” I flinched. _I know, Bakageyama._ “What did you just say?!” My eyes widened. I did _not_ mean to say that out loud. I backed a few steps away from Kageyama, my hands up innocently. He was almost to the point of growling.

“Oi!” Daichi yelled across the court, “Cut it out you two!”

“Tch.” And with that, Kageyama turned back to his position on the court. I sent a mental prayer of thanks out to Daichi. We resumed the game quickly. I was blocking with Kageyama and misread a spike, Tsukishima feinting it instead of going full throttle like he likes to do. I flinched in preparation for Kageyama’s insults that didn’t come. I looked up at Kageyama and he stared back. _Was he already staring at me…?_ He leaned down and whispered into my ear. “Let’s get ‘em with our quick.” He straightened back up as a devilish smile crept across my face. I nodded vigorously and went back to position. Tanaka raised his eyebrow at me and I flashed a mischievous grin. He grinned devilishly back at me. Thank goodness Tanaka-sempai understood. The ball soon hit Tanaka’s outstretched arms and flew into the air. I moved as fast as I could and jumped, pouring every ounce of power into my legs. But something went wrong with my jump. I spiked the ball with as much power as I put into my jump but I could still tell something went wrong with my legs. I fell in slow motion it seemed.  
I saw Daichi and Suga dive to receive my spike but they were late. I looked to my right and saw a small smile creep onto Kageyama’s lips and an excited cry of victory from Tanaka. The sharp sting of excruciating pain shooting up my right leg. My cry of pain. Kageyama slowly turning to me. His small smile melting into worry and confusion when he saw pain on my face instead of joy. Me making impact with the ground on my right leg, the clamps ripping out of my skin, the prosthetic leg skidding inches away from me as I landed painfully on my back, my head hitting the court and bouncing up. I clenched my eyes closed, biting my lip to keep from screaming. Everything still took place in slow motion I wasn’t sure when I would feel real time again. I heard a sharp inhale of breath and then silence in the gym. Time resumed normally. I wish it could speed up. I opened my eyes, tears of pain streaming down my face as I lay on my back. The uncomfortable silence ruled the gym. I saw Kageyama, his mouth hanging slightly open, his eyes shimmering down at me. Suga and Daichi, both still on the floor with their hands up from the missed receive, looking at me with the same shocked ‘o’ of their mouths. I saw Tsukishima who looked completely taken aback.

I ran my hands through my hair counting the seconds pass by, telling myself I should’ve stayed home when my stump was hurting this morning. I peered once more at Kageyama. It was my turn to look shocked. Kageyama was slowly extending his hand out to me, to help me up. I took it and he pulled me up. I stumbled on my one leg and fell against Kageyama. He steadied me. “Sorry.” He muttered.

I shook my head and whispered, “Thank you, Kageyama.” I cleared my throat. “Could you, um, help me to the bench on the side.” I kept my eyes down on the floor. Kageyama grunted. He wrapped his arm around my waist and we started moving towards the bench where Coach Ukai and advisor Ittetsu were sitting. I sheepishly looked around at my teammates who all were still stuck in shock. Coach Ukai looked at me strangely, jaw hanging wide open. “Thanks again, Kageyama. But I, um. I sort of, um, need my, um, you know…” I trailed off, looking hopefully at Kageyama that he would get it.

“Huh?” He said. “Your what?”

I sighed. “My leg, Kageyama.”

“Speak up, dumbass. I can’t hear you.”

“My leg, Kageyama! I need you to get my leg so I can attach it back to my body!” I screamed at Kageyama and he just looked at me, an apologetic look that said ‘Oh… Sorry’. He turned and walked towards the far end of the court, gripping the very realistic prosthetic as if his life depended on it. I allowed myself a small chuckle. I took the leg from him and bent over, about to attach it back on, when Kageyama interrupted the process through the uncomfortable silence.

“Is it gonna… hurt?” He gestured towards my preparations.

“Like hell,” I grinned, “but I’m used to the pain by now.” He grimaced and I just grinned at him. “Here goes.” I said, more to reassure myself. I shut the clamps into my skin. “Ugh! I may be used to it but it still hurts every time.” I stood up and jogged back to my place on the court. “Come on guys, let’s resume the game!” Another awkward silence. “What are you guys waiting for? C’mon!” I knew I was trying to brave myself and act like my leg falling off never happened.

Suga got up and spoke hesitantly. “Hinata, I think maybe you need to take a break.”

“No, I don’t.” I snapped harshly. Suga flinched. “Sorry...”

Daichi spoke, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Suga’s right, Hinata. It would probably be for the best.” I glared at Daichi and dragged out the silence. Tanaka cleared his throat angrily.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell us about your damned leg? Do you not trust us or some shit?” I flinched further. This was out of Tanaka’s character to be cruel. I would’ve expected something like that to come out of Tsukishima’s mouth.

“I think you should mind your own business about Hinata’s reasons of keeping it a secret from us, Tanaka- _sempai._ ” Kageyama spit out his name. Tanaka took a step towards Kageyama.

“And what if I don’t, eh? He owes us an explanation!”

Kageyama took a step towards Tanaka. “No he doesn’t! In what realm does he owe us an explanation about his leg?” When Tanaka couldn’t respond Kageyama continued. “Just focus on the fact that he’s good at volleyball if you can’t look past his leg. Nothing else matters, especially his handicap, as far as you’re concerned.” With that, he turned and walked towards the door. He paused, his hand on the handle, his back facing me. “Now, I don’t know about you Hinata, but I’m not gonna practice with pricks who can’t handle an amazing handicapped player. Hopefully he’ll accept it tomorrow. Coach, I’m leaving a bit early today.” He waved goodbye and left, leaving silence in his wake. I looked at Coach Ukai, begging with my eyes.

“Go,” he sighed. I nodded my thanks as I flew out the door to catch up with Kageyama. Cold enveloped me as I threw the doors of the gym open trying to find Kageyama in the dimming light. I stumbled outside, hugging myself from the cold rain, my leg reacting in small, painful shocks against the rain though not quite as violent.

I cupped my hands over my mouth, shouting his name over and over. _Damn._ “Kage--!” The breath was knocked from my chest as something slammed into it. I looked up to see Kageyama avoiding my gaze, gripping my bag with my clothes hastily stuffed into it. His eyes met mine for a second before he tossed his head in the other direction.

“Are you gonna take it, or what?” He said angrily.

“T-thanks,” I stammered. I took the bag and slung it over my shoulder. “Now what?” Kageyama looked down at me, a microscopic smile twitching the corner of his lips as he rolled his eyes.

“My house is closer. When the rain stops, I’ll walk you home from there. You know, to make sure you don’t die.” I stared at Kageyama, eyes wide in disbelief. “What?!”

“Who are you and what have you done with Bakageyama?”

He scowled. “Dumbass.” He started walking, not waiting for my response. His long legs carried him far before I remembered I was supposed to follow him. Kageyama opened a large umbrella as we stepped into the rain, the cover keeping us dry except for the occasional unavoidable drops of rain whipped in by wind. Our walk was filled with a comfortable, thoughtful silence. Every time I stole a glance at him, Kageyama’s face was screwed up into a scowl that meant he was thinking hard. About what happened earlier, no doubt. I sighed. I was thankful to Kageyama for accepting the missing leg and not freaking out. Through our brooding I realized we had approached Kageyama’s house quickly. He lead the way inside, hanging up his jacket and throwing his bag on the floor. I hung my jacket up as well, waiting for Kageyama to say something. When he didn’t I walked past him into his room and plopped down onto his bed.

“Oi, Hinata!” He came into his room glaring at me. 

“What? I’m tired and I wanted somewhere nice to lay down.” I looked up at Kageyama’s scowl and shrugged.

A smile (which it barely could be called) etched itself onto Kageyama’s face as he rolled his eyes. “Do you need any medicine for your leg?” I shook my head energetically.

“No, it’s fine now, thanks Kageyama.” I sat up and crossed my legs, cursing the leg that has caused so much trouble. The area next to me dipped down. Kageyama’s hand came to rest on my head. He shoved me toward him, his other arm encircling my shoulders. He was hugging me. My eyes were wide open, my heart pounding in my chest, my palms turning clammy. I was scared to move, for what reasons I wasn’t quite sure.

“Hinata?” I made a small noise in the back of my throat as a response. Kageyama’s voice also sounded small. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being such a bad friend. For never knowing about your leg. Whenever it rains you’re always less energetic. Like way less and I never thought much of it. I guess I just decided that you didn’t get enough sleep that night or something. But it’s not that is it? I remember hearing someone on T.V. saying something that victims of limb loss always feel pain triggered by different things in nature, usually rain ‘cause their nerves are reacting or something. I knew something like that and I never made the connection and I--” I let my body act on itself and itself alone. I don’t know what my body was thinking but suddenly my lips were pressing gently onto Kageyama’s, successfully ending his rant. But I wasn’t the only one kissing. Kageyama was responding with the same gentleness. He leaned down into the bed, taking me down with him. My heart, already pounding, sped up, skipping a few beats here and there. Kageyama’s hands stroked my hair as he passionately kissed me. I pulled away, sucking in a breath and looking into his eyes.

“Woah,” I said breathlessly. Kageyama’s hands flew to his face as he covered his reddening cheeks.

“Thank _God_!” He praised.

“What?” I said cluelessly.

Kageyama moved his hands from his face. “Dumbass, Hinata.” He said this so affectionately it was almost as if he had complimented me.

“What? What did I do?”

Kageyama shook his head. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you and then you do a stupid thing only you would have done and do it for me.”

“Kageyama, that didn’t make any sense. English please. What were you trying to--”

“You’re such a dumbass, Hinata! I’m trying to tell you that I really like you. Like, I _really_ like you.” I tilted my head at him, still confused. At this point Kageyama was frustrated, I could tell. “How are _you_ going to understand this? Hmm… Okay. Hinata you make me feel all _gwah_ inside.” I stared at him as realization glacially dawned on me. My cheeks grew hot and I buried my head against Kageyama’s chest. He chuckled softly and his hands once again found themselves tangled up in my hair. I find myself thanking my cursed leg for getting me this wonderful set up. 

It probably had to the best wingman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure to check out the updates on the final draft. Right now the new chapter 1 is out and is titled 'Chapter 1' under the chapter 7 tab. Thanks!


	2. History (Rough Draft)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga's P.O.V. What happened with the team (more or less) after Kageyama's speech.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter idea courtesy of Tdlocomotive. Thanks!

*Suga’s P.O.V.*

“But seriously, man! You should’ve seen it! I mean this guy totally just ran up and decked the other kid in the face! It was awesome.” I glared at Daichi for his lack of responsibility. He backed away, defending himself with his hands. “Sorry! I’m only on responsible mode when I have to be.” He turned back to Asahi. “Anyways, this dude went down like he weighed nothing. After the first hit, though, I knew this was gonna turn nasty really fast so I broke them up. I walked the other kid down to the nurse. The guy punched him so hard he broke his nose. I asked the kid why the guy punched him and he shrugged and said he had no clue--”

An abrupt cry of pain echoed through the rain. Asahi looked at Daichi looked at me and I looked towards the distressed sound. I saw though the fog and rain someone with bright orange hair on the ground clutching their leg. “Hinata?” The figure looked up confirming it was indeed Hinata. Sighs came from behind me. I ran towards Hinata out of the protection of the outdoor halls and other running footsteps soon joined mine. “Hinata, what happened?” I crouched down in the mud to get a closer look at the injury he may have caused. Hinata’s face twisted into a grimace.

“Oh, nothing. It’s fine- I’m fine. I just… My foot got caught in the mud and I landed badly on my knee. And face. Mostly my face.” As much as I was concerned this was such a Hinata thing to do I chuckled.

Daichi swung his hand behind his head, still chuckling warmly. “Be careful next time, Hinata. We’re heading to get changed. You and Kageyama start warming up with your quick.” Hinata nodded too eagerly and it surprised me that there was a such thing as ‘too eager’ with Hinata as it seemed that was all he was sometimes. Daichi and Asahi turned to go to the club room. I looked at them and then back to Hinata with concern. I opened my mouth to speak but stopped myself. I smiled one last time before following my friends. I caught up to them, settling myself at Daichi’s side. They were walking in a comfortable silence. I cleared my throat.

“Do you guys think Hinata was acting a little… I don’t know, off?” 

Asahi shrugged. “Maybe he was trying to cover the fact he fell and it hurt really bad.”

“Who knows why he was acting off,” Daichi adds, “Hinata’s unpredictable in anything. It’s not like he was completely shut down. _Then_ we would truly have a problem.” That startled a laugh from Asahi. I nod, not really convinced. It seemed obvious to me that there was something… _different_ about Hinata just then. Maybe I’m overthinking it. I probably am. “Stop frowning, Suga. Hinata’s probably fine. Stop worrying so much.” I roll my eyes at Daichi. I’m about to retaliate when a yelping Noya races out of the room with a sparked energy.

“Tanaka said he wanted to try something in the gym.” Noya yells over his shoulder as an explanation. I smile at their childish nature, hoping what they're goin to do is safe (which knowing them it probably isn't) and open the door to the club room. Even distracting though Noya’s never-ending energy may be it isn’t enough to overcome my worry for Hinata.

I let my worry envelop me to pass the time.

****

Coach Ukai’s voice echoes from inside the gym. “Alright guys, we’re gonna be doing three-on-three’s today.” Noya’s excited battle cries could probably be heard from kilometers away. I smile at the cheerfulness emanating from Noya and follow Asahi through the gym door, Daichi following, his hand squeezing my shoulder. I look at him and his facial expression says it all. _Stop worrying so much._ I roll my eyes, tearing them away from Daichi. He removes his hand, leaving a warm spot where it had been. He claps his hands, commanding attention. “Come on, guys! Get in the usual teams.” Coach Ukai threw practice jerseys at us. We pulled them on and prepared ourselves on the court where Tsukishima was already warming up with his jersey on. Tanaka, Kageyama, and Hinata were wearing the green jerseys, and us the yellow.

After we warmed up, the game moved along quickly. We were losing by a few points when a perfect opportunity came. A chance ball came over to us. I saw my opportunity, Daichi immediately connecting to my train of thought and movements. I set the ball just how Daichi likes it and saw the ball fall near Hinata’s range of defense. I smirked, knowing what was going to come. The ball hit the court after Hinata had gotten there a second too late.

Kageyama was about to burst. “Dumbass, Hinata! Practice on your receives more!” I rolled my eyes at the usual bickering.

“I know, Bakageyama.” Hinata muttered this seemingly to himself and I instinctively flinched knowing if I could hear it from across the court, Kageyama surely could standing next to the idiot that said it himself.

“What did you just say?!” Hinata’s eyes grew to the size of discs and scooted away. I smiled. Even though the bickering got pretty rude it was still the two best friends I saw and never two enemies.

“Oi! Cut it out you two!” Besides, there’s always Daichi to keep them in line.

“Tch,” Kageyama spat at Hinata and resumed his starting position. Hinata quickly followed suit, instantly focused in on volleyball. It’s always amazed me how quickly both their moods can change if volleyball is involved. Soon, Tsukishima scored us another point with a feint. As he jogged back to us with the smallest of smiles, Kageyama stared at Hinata with a sort of _hunger_. I shivered. _I’m glad I’m not on the receiving end of that stare._ It’s probably burning holes in Hinata’s skull.

Again our game started back up this time starting with a dangerous excitement from the other side of the court. The ball came to us, perfect for a perfect set. I tossed the ball up as soon as it touched my fingertips and I sucked in a breath. _I tossed it too high._ Daichi noticed and tried to redirect the hit, losing some of his strength behind the hit in the process. It landed directly into Tanaka’s waiting arms. I followed the ball with curses in my head as it landed perfectly into Kageyama’s ready hands. As soon as the ball left I knew we were screwed. _Ugh! Not their quick._ The ball soon was preparing to slam fast into the boards. Instinctively I dived for it, crashing harshly to the floor. The ball hit the floor an inch from my fist. I looked up and saw Daichi notice his own fist being too late. I pressed my hand into the floor to prevent from killing Daichi. He followed suit. We looked at each other then at the loud cry of pain already familiar from earlier today. Hinata fell on his leg, his back connecting hard with the floor. I wanted to cry out with him, the visual was painful enough. But my vocal chords were silenced with the shock of Hinata’s leg detaching from his body and skidding across the floor. 

Silence took hold of everyone else. We all were fixated on the secret Hinata had hidden. We watched as he pushed his fingers through his hair. We watched as Kageyama hesitantly reached his hand out to Hinata. We watched as Hinata stumbled on his one leg and into Kageyama. It was so deftly quiet we could hear the small mutter of “Sorry” that Kageyama offered.  
I felt as if I and the rest of the team were invading on a personal moment. A secret Hinata has been keeping from us was spilled almost literally and he probably is afraid of what will happen. Daichi and I and everyone else for that matter is glued to the floor probably not wanting to disrupt the moment or still stuck in shock. It’s hard to decide which is the reason I stay where I am. All we can do is listen.

“Thank you, Kageyama.” Hinata clears his throat awkwardly, trying to avoid the stares of the team. “Could you, um, help me to the bench on the side.” Finally Hinata rests his eyes on the floor. My heart wrenches. I want to comfort him but still I find myself at a loss of response to movement. “Thanks again, Kageyama. But I, um. I sort of, um, need my, um, you know…”  
“Huh? Your what?” Kageyama fumbles at comprehension.

“My leg, Kageyama.”

“Speak up, dumbass. I can’t hear you.”

“My leg, Kageyama! I need you to get my leg so I can attach it back to my body!” Hinata screams instilling a silence from the both of them. Hinata tries to shrink on himself as Kageyama retrieves his leg.

Kageyama’s voice cuts through the thick silence. “Is it gonna… hurt?”

“Like hell but I’m used to the pain by now. Here goes.” Hinata digs the clamps back into his flesh and I flinch with him. “Ugh! I may be used to it but it still hurts every time. Come on guys, let’s resume the game!” Another awkward silence begins to fill the room. Hinata seems desperate to keep it away even by trying to weakly continue on like the incident with his leg never happened. “What are you guys waiting for? C’mon!”

I finally, hesitantly, drag myself to my feet, tugging on Daichi to join me. He does. I walk a few steps towards Hinata, hesitance evident in everything I do. “Hinata, I think maybe you need to take a break,” I said as gently as I could.

“No, I don’t.” Hinata snapped harshly, his golden eyes flickering with a quick anger. I flinched from the uncharacteristic movement. Hinata’s eyes glossed over with sadness and embarrassment. “Sorry…,” he trailed off.

Daichi’s hand once again settles on my shoulder. “Suga’s right, Hinata. It would probably be for the best.” Hinata exchanges a glare with Daichi as the silence drags on even longer. 

Tanaka clears his throat angrily. “Why the hell didn’t you tell us about your damned leg? Do you not trust us or some shit?” The harshness in Tanaka’s voice being directed at a teammate is rare and the fact that it’s directed at Hinata and not Tsukishima is more astonishing.

But Kageyama’s voice, dripping with growing calm _hate_ surprises me more. “I think you should mind your own business about Hinata’s reasons of keeping it a secret from us, Tanaka- _sempai_.” He spits the suffix, making the respectful word sound like a trash tag.

Tanaka, evoked by the words, steps threateningly towards Kageyama “And what if I don’t, eh? He owes us an explanation!”

Kageyama responds with a charged anger. “No he doesn’t! In what realm does he _owe_ us an explanation about his leg?” Tanaka stumbles to find an answer. He fails to respond and settles with a scowl. “Just focus on the fact that he’s good at volleyball if you can’t look past his leg. Nothing else matters, especially his handicap, as far as you’re concerned.” Kageyama paused, eyeing Tanaka one last time with a look that could burn. He turns, walking towards the door, his hand resting on the handle. “Now, I don’t know about you Hinata, but I’m not gonna practice with pricks who can’t handle an amazing handicapped player. Hopefully he’ll accept it tomorrow. Coach, I’m leaving a bit early today.” He waved a curt goodbye with his free hand and left, leaving an uncomfortable silence in his wake. Hinata took a step forward subconsciously, yearning to follow Kageyama. He stopped himself. He looked over at Coach Ukai.

Coach Ukai sighed. “Go,” he simply said. Hinata flew through the doors after permission was giving. A cold gust of air filled the space he vacated and dispersed as the doors clanged open.

“Ryu?” Noya’s small voice rang out. He walked over to Tanaka, placing a small hand onto his shoulder. Visible only to a trained concerned eye, Tanaka’s shoulders started to shake. 

Although Noya was his best friend, I knew Tanaka had almost never cried in front of him and knew that Noya had absolutely no idea how to deal with it. I shook off Daichi’s hand and jogged over to Tanaka. I press a hand between his shoulder blades, leading him to the back door of the gym. 

Daichi’s authoritative voice fills the gym. “Okay guys let’s continue practice. What do we need to work on, Coach?” The chatter of voices picks up again as they crowd together around Coach Ukai. I look back as I open the door and push Tanaka through. I catch Daichi’s eye. He smiles and I do my best to smile back though even I can tell how sad and weak it was. I close the door and turn to Tanaka. He has sunk down to sit atop the steps, his arms draped around his knees to close him off from the world. I sit down next to him and pull him close, rubbing circles onto his back. The only tip to Tanaka’s crying is his shaking shoulders but he emits no noise, his tears falling silently.

“Is this about your dad?” I ask quietly. Tanaka doesn’t respond but only starts shaking more. I sigh. Tanaka, as a kid, loved spending a lot of time climbing and hiking. He went on a long multi-day hiking trip just him and his father. They were hiking when a rock crushed his father’s leg. His father couldn’t move. Tanaka called for help and it took hours for people to come. The medics decided to amputate his father’s leg instead of remove the boulder as it would cost the hospital too much time and money to bring in the supplies to do so. The amputation ended up killing his father with too much blood loss. The doctors regretted their decision, reasoning that removing the rock so they could properly amputate his leg at the hospital would have saved Tanaka’s father’s life. I know this only because, on the anniversary of his death, Tanaka’s mind was elsewhere during a volleyball tournament and he caved after losing a game. He came to me and told me everything and ever since then Tanaka never really broke down anymore. I guess it’s because knowing someone on the team besides Noya knew what happened and how to help him. Eventually this knowledge got around to the rest of the second and third years.

Even with knowing the sensitive memories that were raised from the incident with Hinata’s leg, I still don’t quite understand why Tanaka reacted the way he did. I thought he would be empathetic at the very least. “Tanaka?” I ask softly. He grunts as his response. “Why did you act so rudely to Hinata?” Tanaka shifts his head so he can peer at me. I can see his eyes red and puffy some of the only evidence of the emotional response.

“I don’t know,” he says regretfully, “I think maybe it’s because Hinata got the treatment my dad deserved, the one that could have saved his life.” He pauses, mulling over what admitted. “It doesn’t really make any sense. I just feel like a huge asshole. I shouldn’t have acted like that. I didn’t even mean what I said! I was just upset he didn’t tell us because if he did I thought maybe we could help him deal with it one or another or something.” Tanaka buries his head back into his knees. His voice is muffled. “I just don’t know what to do to make up for how I reacted, Suga.”

I smile. “Well, just apologize. You don’t need to explain the reason why you acted like you did because that’s something personal that belongs to you just as it was for Hinata to keep his leg a secret. You know Hinata. He won’t ever be mad at you especially if you apologize. But I also think you need to apologize to Kageyama too.” Tanaka nods.  
“Yeah I was kind of a huge jerk to him.”

“Not only that but Kageyama and Hinata are best friends and you attacked Hinata. Just think of you and Noya. Every time someone picks on him you’re there ready for a fight to defend your friend. It’s the exact same thing with those two.” Tanaka nods one last time. “I’m gonna go in. I’ll send Noya out.” I pause, not sure if I want to say anything more. I decide against it. I give Tanaka a squeeze on his shoulder and open the doors to the gym. I leave the sound of rain behind and trade it for the loud commotion in the gym. Daichi and Noya are the first ones to catch my eye. Noya’s eyebrows shoot up. I smile and nod my head towards the door. He grins and runs for it, bursting outside shouting Tanaka’s name. I roll my eyes and know that Noya is exactly the best thing for Tanaka right now. Asahi smiles towards the door where Noya’s excited shouts can be heard.

Daichi approaches me with his brows furrowed. I raise my eyebrows. “Did you find out why Tanaka had his outburst?” Daichi leans forward to whisper in my ear. My heart skips a beat before replying.

“Yeah.”

“His dad?” The concerned tone is evident in his voice.

I nod. “Yeah.” Daichi starts to chew on the inside of his cheek. _Uh-oh_. “Daichi? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

I sigh. “Daichi I’ve known you for years. I know when something’s wrong. You’re chewing on your cheek again.”

Daichi sighs and shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know. I just- I’m just worried about Tanaka and Kageyama and Hinata. I hope they resolve everything soon. It’d be the best for their friendship and the team.”

I chuckle and hold my finger against his chest. “You, sir, worry too much. Worrying is my job. They’re going to be find. Just let them solve it themselves.”

“Yeah, okay,” Daichi nods and sighs, “I hate when you’re right.”

“So you hate me all of the time? That’s rude.”

Daichi laughs and rolls his eyes. “Oh shut up, Koushi.” I raise my eyebrows as my heartbeat speeds up. Daichi’s eyes widen. “Um, I meant--”

“Okay let’s start putting things away. Suga, go get Tanaka and Noya so they can help.” Coach Ukai’s voice echoes through the gym. I turn and follow Coach’s orders. I saw Daichi chew the inside of his cheek more when I turned away from him. I crossed to the back doors as they flew open with an excited Noya and energetic Tanaka bursting out.

“I bet I can pick up more balls than you can, Ryu!” Noya shouts.

“Get your own first, Noya! You’re on!”

Noya pauses, his mouth hanging open. “Hey, Ryu!” Noya runs after Tanaka, rushing to catch up with him as Tanaka had already put away a few balls.


	3. Soft (Rough Draft)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama is so _soft_. Hinata thinks it's wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, even though I'm on a break and I said look forward to lots of chapters don't trust me. I have no idea where this is going. But for those of you reading, we're on this journey together!

_“Shoyou! Shoyou!” A voice kept screaming my name. The voice was familiar. The situation felt familiar. The voice kept screaming and screaming my name pleading with me to get up. But I didn’t understand I was too sluggish. This dream was a memory and yet something was misplaced. The voice was distinctly male. “Shoyou! Shoyou! Oh, god, Shoyou!”_ Is that…? _“Say something, open your eyes, do anything so I know you’re alive! Shoyou!”_ Kageyama? _I strained to move my fingers, to reach out to where his voice was coming from. He worried me, his voice sounding distraught. And again my heavy lids and stubborn limbs wouldn’t let me respond. Wouldn’t let me fulfill Kageyama’s request. When I didn’t respond Kageyama’s screams turned into grotesque racking sobs. Every now and then he would whimper my name, cutting through the suffocating sobs. I fought with all my might, trying to urge myself to respond._

_My eyes finally flew open urgent and alert. The breath was instantly sucked from my chest as I saw something more gruesome than my missing limb. Kageyama was covered in blood and I instantly worried it was his. How was I not supposed to think that? But no. It was mine. It took me second to figure out why but after I saw Kageyama sobbing over a lifeless me cradled to his chest it was easier to see where the blood had come from. But it wasn’t seeing my own body mangled and lifeless that made the whole scene as grotesque as it was._

_It was seeing Kageyama sobbing and his dead eyes wishing his life was taken instead of mine._

Someone was screaming. It wasn’t those screams described in horror stories. No, it was a scream so intimate and filled with sorrow that you felt you should give the person privacy to deal with their grief. And only after my throat was scraped raw did I realize the screams belonged to me.

“Oi, dumbass, what the hell?” Kageyama rubs his eyes and looks at me. I sit up and card my hands through my hair. I jump at his groggy voice. _Am I still dreaming?_ It took me a minute to remember where I was. _Oh. In Kageyama’s room. I never knew I'd ever say or think that after waking up._ I looked around for a clock. I notice moonlight spilling throughout parts of the room, providing a soft glow from the thin curtains. Streaks of the on-going rain break through the light.  
I find the clock and it reads 12:49 a.m.. _12:49 a.m.?!_ “Hinata?” Kageyama’s voice is gentle and delicate, his words cautious. He sits up as I cover my face with my hands. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

I can’t breathe. Or maybe I’m breathing too hard. I don’t know. I just feel like something’s wrong maybe everything and the fact that I don’t know _what’s_ wrong scares me more. I look at Kageyama, feeling desperate. “Hinata?” Kageyama is hesitant. He reaches out his hand slowly and puts it against my cheek. He wipes at my eye with his thumb. It’s only then I realize I’ve been crying. 

Kageyama’s touch is soft. His long fingers caress my cheek. I close my eyes and lean into the touch, trying to get all the comfort I can. I lift my hand and press it against Kageyama’s. I feel if I don’t have his touch I might break down crying or screaming again. Kageyama’s other hand lifts to my face, the tips of his fingers under my chin, barely holding me as if any more pressure would break me. Lips brush mine. My eyes flutter open to meet gorgeous dark blue orbs filled with passion. I feel more silent tears spill down my cheeks. Kageyama moves his hand to my hair, his other hand still holding close to my face as I kept it there. He kisses the corners of my eyes, taking away the tears. He trails the kisses down my jawline, eventually finding his way back to my lips all the while being tender to a point I didn’t know existed in him. Kageyama presses his lips against mine. Our lips move together as lava, slow and steady, but filled with passion and warmth. Kageyama snakes his hand from my hair to my waist and he shifts me into his lap where he sits cross-legged. I wrap my legs around him and move my own hands to his chest.

Through my touch I realize Kageyama is bare-chested, having abandoned his shirt to sleep most likely. The simple touch dusts my face pink with warmth. I move my hands to hang loosely around his neck, our gentle motions still continuing. Kageyama kisses me so tenderly, so gently I wonder where he stores all of this caring. The weight of the dream comes back to haunt me, proving too much for me to ignore. I break away and nestle my head against the crook of his neck. Kageyama places a hand on my back, rubbing small circles as he cards his fingers through my hair. Kageyama leans back down into the bed, pulling me with him and I place my hands against his chest to adjust. I start to cry the same silent tears Kageyama kissed away. I feel him kiss my hair, once again trying to comfort me.

We stay like this comfortably for a few more minutes before Kageyama whispers, “Do you want to talk about it?” I nod into the crook of his neck but I don’t dare lift my head to look at him, afraid I might lose grasp of my emotions and sob uncontrollably.

My voice is feeble as I speak. “I always have this dream… Well, it’s more of a nightmare, I guess. I hear a woman’s voice screaming my name over and over again. I don’t want to open my eyes because my lids feel really heavy and I feel sleepy. But I open my eyes and I always can’t see very well. But then I see this really beautiful red color. I don’t know where it’s coming from and then I follow the trail and it’s always coming from the half of my right leg. I have it every single night every now and then with a few differences but usually exactly the same. But, just now, the dream was different. Instead of a woman calling my name it was you. You always sound more desperate for a response. I think it’s partially because you don’t sound absolutely hopeless. And this time you actually ask for a sign that I’m alive. And I _want_ to open my eyes or move my fingers or _something_ and my body’s just not responding. And then I hear you sobbing and I just--,” my breath hitches in my chest and I struggle to continue, “I want so badly to tell you I’m alright. But then I open my eyes and I’m watching you hold my dead body and you’re sobbing but the look in your eyes… You just looked so dead, Kageyama! You looked like your life was taken from you,” I lift my head to look at Kageyama, “You looked like you died while you were alive if that makes any sense… That’s what was so scary, Kageyama. I never scream when I wake up from the dreams. I’m usually just sweating. But this time I screamed and I was sweating and I was crying and I just--” I stop talking, tears dripping down my face. I stop talking because I see Kageyama’s own face wet with tears. 

“Kageyama?” I’m quiet now, my voice barely above a whisper. He lifts his hand to my cheek, rubbing away my tears again.

“Dumbass,” he says tenderly, “You should’ve told me about the dreams. Then you would know that I’m always there for you whenever you need me.”

I smile sadly. “With you here, I’m invincible, right?” Kageyama’s warm laughter shines through the tears on both of our faces.

“Right.” Kageyama lifts his head and kisses the tip of my nose. I smile but then I think of how I want to go back to sleep and how my leg now feels uncomfortable. I stop smiling and sit up, straddling Kageyama. Of course Kageyama notices. “What’s wrong now, Hinata?”

I clear my throat a little awkwardly, averting my gaze to my hands in my lap. “My leg… It gets cramped up after having the prosthetic on all day so, uh, is it okay if I, er…”

“Take it off?” Kageyama says softly, the looks in his eyes understanding. I nod sheepishly. “Of course it’s okay you dumbass.” Kageyama sits up and kisses my nose again and lies back down. I blush and get off of Kageyama, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. The mattress is high enough off of the ground that my feet dangle, not touching the floor. Sucking in a breath, I detach the prosthetic limb and lay it carefully on its side. The fresh air feels so nice on my stump I feel my whole body relax just a little bit more. I slide back under the sheets, not daring to steal a look Kageyama’s way. Then I feel his hand sneak across my waist, his other hand resting on my stomach. He pulls me into him and I gasp, not expecting the large motion. He tucks my head under his chin and he rests like that comfortably. Kageyama continues to blow my mind at how close he gets, even going so far as intertwining our legs, not flinching when he rests his leg against my stump. I’m surprised beyond anything imaginable. I’m pleasantly surprised with the new things I keep discovering with Kageyama. 

_Thank God for him._

************

I yawn and snuggle closer to Kageyama’s chest. Somewhere in the night, I had turned to face him. He chuckles. “Good morning, Hinata.” He kisses my hair. His affection, although the levels of it surprising, the actions themselves aren’t. It feels as natural as our bickering and it seems that it’s been going on as long too. Our feelings for each other, to be precise. It was a thing that always existed. It just took an emotional me and a caring Kageyama to bring it out.

“Morning, Bakageyama.” I can almost _hear_ Kageyama’s eyes rolling in his head.

“What do you want for breakfast?” I open my eyes and look up at Kageyama. He’s leaning on his elbow, looking down at me with a sweet small smile spreading over his lips.

I groan and he raises his eyebrows, amused. “I don’t wanna get up.”

Kageyama chuckles. “It’s almost ten in the morning, dumbass.”

“Doesn’t motivate me to get up, Bakageyama.”

Kageyama rolls his eyes again. “I’m getting up whether you are or not. You have to get up at some point though.” He bends down and kisses my hair once again. I’m starting to think that may be his new favorite thing. He slides out of the bed and crosses to the window, throwing open the curtains. The sky outside is a cloudy grey although it’s no longer raining. The little light the outside sky provides is enough to send me burying myself further into the sheets, slamming my eyes shut. Kageyama sighs. I hear him pad softly out the room, the door sliding open. I don’t hear it close. I pull off the sheets and peer around the room. The door is still open. I huff and sit up, examining the room for things I might have missed during my hysterics upon entering. I’m not surprised that there are little personal possessions. Kageyama’s room is pristine, not anything out of place. The state of his room shouldn’t surprise me given his stoic nature, but it does. Somehow I imagined Kageyama would have his whole wardrobe on the floor and throw on whatever passed the sniff test on weekends when he didn’t have to wear his uniform. That’s what I did, at least. There’s a desk in the left corner with a lamp and a calendar hanging above it on the correct date. Like him, I have a calendar above my desk but it’s stuck on this time last year. He has a bedside table to my left where his clock rests, glaring large green numbers at me reading _9:58 a.m._ I groan. _I really should get up._

The smell of breakfast wafts through the door, chasing the sleep out of my body more thoroughly than any physical activity. I rush to scoot the edge of the bed, searching for my leg that I left laying on the floor. I find it and stretch my fingers to clasp it. And to my disappointment, the bed’s too far off the ground for me to reach it from the bed. And not for the first time, I curse my height… and my decision for laying my leg on the ground instead of leaving it upright. In one final attempt at stretching for my leg, I find myself toppling to the ground, my back landing against the wall, my legs curling up over me. Kageyama’s clock falls, adding to the crashing sound. I stay in my position glaring at the prosthetic leg in view. 

Kageyama rushes in. “What happened?” He gasps. His eyes roll over the situation and rest on me as I shift my glare to him. A light, laugh escorts his words. “Are you alright?” He crosses to me, chuckling all the way. He squats, holding out his hand to me. I glare at him, then his hand. I roll my eyes and take it. Kageyama pulls me to my feet (foot rather), guiding me to the edge of his bed. He hands me the leg and I take it. He gives one last chuckle and exits the room, tending to the abandoned breakfast. I clamp on my leg, biting back the sharp pain that fades rather quickly. I walk to the kitchen and plop down into a chair at the table.

Kageyama puts a plate in front of me and I start shoveling food in. Kageyama digs in, eating quickly. “Oi, Kageyama?” I ask through a mouthful of food.  
“Mmm?” Kageyama looks at me from under the blanket of his long lashes, sleep still fogging his movements. My heart constricts. My next breath is shaky. _Damn you, Kageyama._

“Um, where are your parents?” Although I’m grateful for their absence, it’s still somewhat alarming.

Kageyama quirks an eyebrow but soon recognizes and understands my confusion. “Oh. On some business trip or vacation or something for two weeks. They should be home tonight or tomorrow morning.”

My jaw drops. “They left you? For two _weeks_?! My mom would _never_ do that!” Kageyama rolls his eyes.

“That’s because your mother’s smart enough not to trust you to not burn down the house down and keep your sister alive while she’s gone. She probably doesn’t trust you to be alone for more than a few hours.” I gape at Kageyama and throw a nearby napkin at him. He chuckles. “Hey! I didn’t do anything!” Kageyama smiles at me. I concentrate on his smile, wanting to imprint the image to recall later.

“Kageyama? Don’t your cheeks hurt from smiling so much?” I ask, my voice taking on a teasing tone. Kageyama immediately stops smiling, trading it for his signature scowl. “No!” I pout, “I like it when you smile. You should do it more often.” He rolls his eyes and takes his and my now empty plate and places them into the sink. He walks over to the couch and sinks into it, his arm covering his face. I turn around in my chair to look at him. “What are you doing, Bakageyama?”

“Trying to ignore you.”

“Hey! Rude. R-O-O-D, rude.” At that, the corners of Kageyama’s mouth twitch up. The single movement is enough to light up his face. I smile to myself and cross to the couch. “Kageyama,” I whine, “let’s do something.” 

Kageyama groans. “No.”

“Yes,” I huff.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No, Hin--” I lunge on top of Kageyama. We topple to the floor, Kageyama landing on top of me. He glares down at me. I grin. “Dumbass,” Kageyama breathes shakily. At his shakiness, my brain seems to register the position we’re in. Heat rushes to my cheeks. I look at Kageyama through the curtain of my eyelashes and see pink dusting his cheeks though not as severe as my face probably is. “You’re so…”

I push up slightly onto my elbows, level with Kageyama. “So what, Kageyama?”

“So stupid.” He pushes forward just enough to have our lips brush softly. I push my hand to his hair, my other trying to support my weight. He deepens the kiss, one of his hands flying to the small of my back, his other arm supporting practically all of our weight together. I can’t help myself, knowing how strong Kageyama is. I push both of my hands in his hair, pushing my body up to meet his and wrapping my legs around his waist. Kageyama _growls_ and pushes me into the floor, still managing to execute his movements in the softest way possible. He moves his mouth from mine and attacks my neck. I gasp, not prepared for the motion.

“Kageyama,” I breathe. He stops and smirks at me. That’s when I notice how large his pupils are and how all the softness he’s been using is going to give way to something rougher and I’m not sure if I’m physically or emotionally prepared for that to happen. He moves back to my lips and I relax into his touch, my hands staying in his hair as his hand remains on the small of my back, the other supporting him from crashing onto me. And I’m so caught up in his touch I notice the click of the front door a little too late.

“ _What the hell, Tobio_?!” We break apart and stare at each other. My eyes wide and terrified, his barely conveying his terror. He breathes in deeply and exhales slowly. _Guess they're back today, Kageyama._

“Hey, dad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look forward to Kags P.O.V. maybe? Thoughts on the chapter? Critiques? Anything? Thanks!


	4. Then (Rough Draft)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter in which the next moment is a then which becomes his new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kags P.O.V.. Sorry it took me so long to crank a chapter out. I kept rewriting this chapter over and over again. I don't know what was wrong with me. Enjoy!

*Kageyama’s P.O.V.*

_Oh shit._

“Hey, dad.” I calmly say. I’m still looking at Hinata and don’t know which is worse; facing him or my parents. Hinata’s eyes are the size of discs, fear sparking in his gaze. He’s frozen for a second, his hands still desperately clutching my hair. Hinata thaws enough from his frozen fear that he lowers his back to the floor, his legs falling from my hips. His hand flies to his mouth, his other trying to cover his whole face, fingers straining to stretch to cover the space. It’s like he’s trying to hide behind his small hands.

“Tobio?” My mother’s voice is small and quiet. I instinctively cringe, having heard this voice only on the worst of occasions. This voice was the one she reserves only for when she is royally pissed.

I exhale slowly, trying my hardest to gather enough courage to face my parents. Hinata still hides, making it impossible for me to gather courage from looking in his eyes, his loving nature trying to have enough courage for the both of us. But this is a problem where I have to protect the both of us. While I’m looking at his small frame, the thought of him and being _with_ him allows me all the courage I need to face my parents. I push myself off of Hinata, my back to my parents. I take a final breath and turn, finally facing my parents.

My mother clings to my father’s arm as he looks on disgustingly at Hinata. My mother stares, not angrily, but _disappointedly_ at me and somehow that’s worse. I gulp, suddenly trying to shrink in on myself and for the first time I feel smaller than my parents. I don’t know how I’ll ever get through this. I glance over my shoulder at Hinata still trying to bury himself a hole in my floor. “You guys already know Hinata Shoyou. He’s come over a few times.” My voice shakes so much that I feel even smaller. I gesture my hand out to Hinata. He gives a squeak of acknowledgement, scurrying to stand by my side. Instead of shielding himself from my parent’s gaze with my body, he amazes me. He glances at me and gives me a weak smile, his expression slipping away to his eerily serious game face. Hinata steps in front of me his hands out at his sides. His whole stance reads protection. I grin. _That’s my guy._ “Well, he’s my _boyfriend_ as of recently.” My mother lets a terrified squeak slip through her tersely closed lips as I let the title roll off my tongue like I’ve been saying it for _years_. Neither of my parents speak or do _anything_ of the matter. Somewhere along the silence I found my rebellious, sarcastic nature I adopted long ago to use only at home. “Hinata, these are my parents as you already know.” Hinata makes a noise, barely audible, but enough for me to recognize it as a subtle snort. “So, now that the introductions are out of the way, how was the trip? Did you eat a lot of food? See a lot?”

I’m met with silence. As expected, considering the previous scene and the tension it created. Hinata’s hand reaches back, the tips of his fingers gripping the tips of mine. I wait a few more minutes and when nothing but silence ensues I squeeze his fingers ever so slightly and let go, our arms swinging back to our sides. I clear my throat. “Well,” I say simply and walk to my room. Hinata soon follow me after shooting a glare at my parents. I smile to myself, lucky to have him by my side. I grab my gym bag and toss it onto the bed. I go to my closet, pausing against the frame before grabbing random clothes. I throw them into the bag, most of them barely hanging in by the sides of the bag. Hinata, my strong pillar, silently folds the clothes and places them neatly inside. I run out of clothes -even of the little I had- and stand, running my hands through my hair. Hands snake against my hips. I lean back in to the touch, my face nuzzling into Hinata’s hair. It’s as soft as ever and just as crazy. We stay, leaning into each other, warmth enveloping our bodies.

Hushed, speedy voices reach us and gently tug me back into reality. But I want to stay, with Hinata, in this embrace. I don’t want to face the unraveled threads of my family. I don’t know if I can.

I’m afraid.

Hinata nudges my hip, regretfully forcing me back to reality. I sigh as Hinata’s warmth leaves my side, turning to the bags. He hands me my gym bag now stuffed with my volleyball, school, and leisure clothes. My school satchel slouches against my bad, undisturbed since it was carelessly left on the floor. I sling it over my shoulder and stand, saying goodbye to my room for who knows how long. Hinata stands against the door frame, his bags hiked onto his shoulders, his hand outstretched for me to take it. I take one last look and clasp our hands together. I lead the way back to the kitchen where my parents, foreheads now pressed together, talk quickly in strained whispers. They don’t notice our re-entrance. I continue towards the door until my father speaks out.

“Where do you think you’re going, Tobio?” I turn to see my father glaring holes into Hinata and myself. Hinata looks at his feet. My mother shifts her gaze from my father to Hinata so rapidly it makes me nauseous. Golden eyes filled with fear and passion and sadness clear my head of any thoughts of turning back, claiming it was all a joke. Hinata’s eyes, his presence, fills me with confidence.

Glaring, I flick my eyes to my parents. “When you two can talk reasonably, call me. Then maybe I’ll come home, that is, if you can handle a homosexual living with you. Meanwhile, I’ll be flying my gay colors.”

My feet push me forward violently, Hinata stumbling helplessly behind me. Will is the only thing driving my actions, making me appear calm and collected when all I really want is to scream at myself. I yank our jackets from the hooks, throw the door open and defiantly leave, dragging Hinata with me. In frustration at the door I had ripped my hand from his grasp to hastily throw on my jacket and stuff my hands into the pockets. He kicks the door closed and then comes to walk silently besides me. Hinata slides his jacket from my arm and slings it over his own arm. He never initiates any conversation of sorts. I silently thank him and his instincts for knowing me and what I need. My shoulders shrug forward, my back hunching down, as I slip into my thinking/emotional position as I’ve come to call it.

In my head, I’m constantly fighting bravery and being cool-headed with breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably. The latter being uncharacteristic for me. I’ve never really been an emotional person or, rather, I’ve never been an expressive person. I _feel_ just like everyone else, of course, but I don’t _express_ it the same ways. Because of it people say I’m always collected and that I never experience pain. But they’re wrong. I constantly experience pain but through years of learning I know not to share the pain because people usually only add on or shun you for showing the pain you’re experiencing. I find that if I don’t show my pain, I’m revered as collected and strong, but, if I share it, I’m regarded as weak and overly emotional. And it’s when Hinata and I cross through an empty park that I realize Hinata isn’t most people. He’s literal sunshine and shares his joy in almost every way possible. Most people don’t know how to do that or how to keep up with it.

Hinata stops and I run into him, not paying attention. He had taken up the responsibility of leading me around. “Oi, dumbass!” I yell at him, the bite in my voice coming from the events that were circulating throughout my thoughts. I expect him to flinch as I do at my harsh tone but he doesn’t. He looks up at me, golden eyes all fire and determination.

“Kageyama.” He says quietly. His lulling voice pulls me to stand in a world where we only exist, together. He grips my hand. I bite my lip, clenching my eyes close, trying to fight the sudden tears back. “Kageyama.” _Hinata isn’t like other people._ “It’s _okay_. I’m here.” I choke on a sob and collapse into Hinata’s embrace. He stumbles with my sudden weight but he soon steadies himself against a tree. Hinata slides down, his back leaning into the bark. He positions himself somehow to where his legs wrap around my waist. Hinata sits in my lap and I criss cross my legs, picking Hinata up so I can do so. One hand digs into the small of his back, the other clutching at his hair. I sob uncontrollably, tears soaking the crook in Hinata’s shoulder where I rest my head.

It’s been a long time since I’ve cried like this. Sure, I’ve let a few frustrated tears roll down my face after a tough loss, but they’ve always dried before anyone could notice. I’ve never sobbed like this, even in private. I’ve never had racking sobs with tears endlessly flowing over my cheeks. And now, with Hinata, I’ve let all of this built up emotion I never realized I had locked away release out into the real world and not just the one inside of my own head. Nothing has ever felt so good to just _cry_. To just let everything go.

Somewhere in time, the tears stopped coming. Soon after my chest stopped racking dry sobs. Then my breathing came normally and not raspy, desperate wails. Then silence. Hinata and I sat, not daring to move. My reason so I wouldn’t have to face reality and all of the crap I’ve let build and all the things I’ve destroyed in this one _stupid_ day.

Something gentle and feathery-light pressed into my hair. Then the smooth, caring voice. “Let’s go home, okay?” I nodded silently. Small, long fingers lifted under my chin, tilting my face upwards to meet Hinata’s. He smiled a small smile. Then he closed his eyes, leaned in, and pressed a feathery-light kiss into my own lips. That was enough to calm me down.

Then we got up and began our long walk home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again... Sorry for the wait. And for how short it is. Thanks to all the readers and commentators! Also, side note; I've been falling in love with Bokuaka everything... And I want to write a fic featuring Bokuaka maybe... Thoughts? Would you read?


	5. Know (Rough Draft)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata's leg is the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a short, hopefully sweet ending because I had no idea where this was going. But I'm happy with the cutesy ending. Thanks for sticking to the end of the story! Maybe drop a comment about future AUs for your fav Haikyuu OTPs you wanna see come to life? (I promise it will be way longer)

I thought that what had happened in the park would have gotten Kageyama talking, getting him to open up to me on our walk home about what was really bothering him. But he didn’t. Kageyama remained quiet, swirling in the thoughts of his own mind. He did, however, hold my hand and stayed as close to me as he could get. That in itself was comforting. I felt it was good for him to have something comforting and familiar to focus on. I left him to his thoughts as I lead him home. I smile at the thought of home. 

Unlike Kageyama, I had a happy home life with the exception of the hole scabbed over from losing my dad in the car accident I had lost my leg to as a child. Since then I had felt I needed to make up for that hole, trying to be the head of our house. I mostly took on the responsibility for Natsu’s sake. But I also knew it was my version of a coping mechanism for my loss. Natsu, as smart as she is, already figured out what it was I was trying to. She had confronted me about it in the most comforting way. I had been helping Natsu with her homework one day a few months after the accident when she had looked up into my eyes. I was explaining fractions and going in circles with my words, not really making sense. It took me a second to stop talking.

_“What is it, Natsu?” I sighed heavily._

_She looked at me, confused, searching my eyes. “I don’t get it, Ni-chan,” She said, “You’re enough. You don’t have to be someone else that you’re not. Mommy and I just want you and you alone, not a replacement for Daddy ‘cause no one can replace him because he was unique. And so are you.” She took a pause from her seemingly carefully pre-constructed speech. “I just want my big brother back.”_

I had hugged her, expressed my thanks, and, when I was in the safe privacy of my room, I cried. She had said something so dear and so adult and yet so childish at the same time it had reached into my soul and slapped me in the face, telling me Natsu was completely right. Since then, I have tried my best to be the most amazing big brother to the most awesome little sister. I had also tried being the best son I could be to my mother. These things had kept our family relationships strong, unbreakable. I think after being trapped with a somewhat broken family, Kageyama might be healed or fixed or whatever from being near a healthy relationship.

The sun sets, blending all sorts of vibrant color together. I stop walking and reach out, hand stretching towards the sky. Kageyama keeps walking, not noticing I had stopped until he’s yanked backward from our still linked hands. “What the hell, Hinata?” Despite his choice of words, he isn’t harsh. He’s affectionate. Kageyama’s the strangest thing. He shows affection in the oddest of ways. But, of course, I wouldn’t have him any other way than how he is.

“Look at the sky, Tobio.” I feel Kageyama’s hand stiffen in mine. Soon he relaxes further into my touch than he ever had before. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I feel his breath hot on my cheek as he whispers quietly into my ear.

“It’s beautiful. Almost as much as you, Shoyou.” I inhale sharply, spinning perhaps too quickly to face Kageyama. His whole face glows an adorable shade of red but he isn’t embarrassed. He’s fully engulfed in my eyes and I start to lose myself in his as well. I raise my arms around his neck. Kageyama’s hands flutter to my hips as he rests his forehead against mine. We stay, time flying past us as we get wrapped up in our own world. “With me, you’re invincible,” Kageyama repeats his strongest words of encouragement to me as he leans in. I meet him calmly halfway through, our lips brushing together, soon pressing to seep all of our passion into each other.

A few minutes later, we break away. My breath is stolen from my chest as I look at Kageyama’s beautiful face. “I think I’m in love with you, Tobio.”  
Kageyama chuckles. “Don’t think, Shoyou. _Know_.” And he leans in for another kiss.

In the end, I have my stupid leg to thank for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned this earlier, I think. It would mean a lot if you guys really liked my writing and wanted to see me write more Haikyuu!! stuff. List a ship and an AU? It probably will blossom into something because all I do with my weekends is in Haikyuu!! hell... Thank you for sticking to the end to read!


	6. Author's Note (Important, not part of story)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author, yours truly, sincerely apologizes and shares good things.

Hey faithful readers! Glad some of you have enjoyed this. Though some of you guys may have liked this, I'm really unhappy with how this fic turned out. I'm going to get straight into this.

I know it's been a while since I had 'finished' this fic. The finish was really rushed because I was in my head that as soon as I posted the first chapter I had to get the rest up pronto so I focused on getting the chapters out, not on how good the chapters actually were. That's only partly why I was rushed. I also rushed because I had what I felt to be a REALLY awesome idea for a BokuAka fic. I know that's a dumb reason to feel rushed but I felt that it wouldn't be okay to have two ongoing fics at the same time. Basically, I was just being an idiot. I got "Wounded Wing" out of the way because I wanted to start working on "Remorse" (which is at 2 chapters right now with 14,643 words). With "Remorse" I realized that I should focus on quality instead of updates. Notice I've never said quality over quantity. "Remorse" is obviously my more loved fic with only 2 chapters and 14,643 words whereas "Wounded Wing" has 5 chapters and only 12,227 words. So, yeah. That doesn't mean I hate "Wounded Wing"! It just means I want a fresh start.

So, my point is: I want to rewrite "Wounded Wing". I'm currently in the process of rewriting Chapter 1 and I've already added two pages to it in revisions and I've only gone through the first page. This new "Wounded Wing" will probably be waaay longer and so so so much better than what it is now. So, if anyone would like to stick around to see if it really is better, please do! Drop a comment if you're looking forward to it, I don't really know. The new "Wounded Wing" won't be posted until every chapter is revised and the new and improved fic is finished. I don't know how long that will take but keep "Wounded Wing" in your bookmarks if you're interested.

Also, anyone interested in reading a BokuAka fic go on over to my fic "Remorse". It's written in Akaashi's point of view both in first person and in third person. The first person and third person fics are separate fics. They're exactly the same besides the point of view. Once I feel I'm ready, an IwaOi and/or KageHina fic will be set in that same AU. You probably won't need to read "Remorse" for the IwaOi and/or KageHina fic to make sense but I'd appreciate it if you did! I think it's really interesting and I really love it so go check it out!

Thank you so much! I hope you guys stick around!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The new chapter is out now!!! I am so excited. Drop by a comment if you were here to witness the terrible mess that is the first draft.


	7. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we meet the same Hinata but yet entirely different.
> 
> I love my baby crows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I lied. I am just really excited and want to share with you what I've written. In other words, I'm posting the updated chapters when they are finished and hot off the press. I just want you guys to see the progress in the story and in me as a writer. Thanks!

_“Shoyou! Shoyou!” A woman’s desperate voice kept screaming hysterically. Her voice was vaguely familiar. She kept screaming and screaming and yet I didn’t want to open my eyes. The lids felt heavy, not worth dragging open._

_But the woman persisted. She kept crying for me to open my eyes. She sounded so desperate and broken that I didn’t want to disappoint her._

_With difficulty, my eyes pried open from their comfortable rest. A grey sky filled the air with pure snow. Bare skeletal trees bordering my sight were dusted prettily by the falling snow above._

I must be lying on the ground.

_Blurred vision rendered details fuzzy and unclear. Though my sight was made to be useless, my sense of touch was at its prime, the sense I primarily relied on at the moment. The ground beneath me was cold, hard, bumpy too. It felt awful; a thousand small needles digging into my skin but never quite giving in to the satisfaction of piercing through. The cold surface seeped into the depths of my skin, reaching out to bind my bones in ice, my blood struggling to keep me alive and warm._

_With a blink, the blurriness vanished some, becoming clearer though the preciseness of details remained muzzy. Color gradually became clearer, brighter. Flowing steadily next to me, a sea of crimson swirled with the black of the ground, tainting the white of the falling snow. Despite the killing cold, the crimson sea was warm in both it’s beautiful color and it's touch. The color stained my fingers as they easily swam through the liquid._

It’s beautiful, _I thought._ What’s making it?

_I steer my line of vision around, searching for the source of the beautiful flowing sea. The search became increasingly more and more frantic, although I didn’t know why. Anxiety’s tendrils were wrapping around me. Panic overwhelmed the false peace I was floating in and I didn’t know why. Was it from the screaming that made me so afraid? Was is the cold? Was it the sea’s color? I didn’t know. More panic started to crash in, almost thick enough to suffocate me under the harsh sky of winter cold._

_I blinked more, hysterically hunting for the source of the beauty now the cause of my undoing. I realized why I was so afraid. The beautiful colored sea was flowing steadily from my right leg._

_From the half of it that was still left._

_My screaming soon joined the frantic woman. I finally knew why._

 

***

 

Sweat drips onto the sheets, small circles darkening the blue cotton. Tears accompany the sweat. The pounding drums too quickly, echoing from my heart throughout my whole body. The pounding cannot be healthy yet it's nothing new. My heart slows, I calm down. I realize that my fingers had fumbled their own way to run shakily through my hair, a habit I’ve picked up on over the years.

_“You’re okay, Shoyou. You’re fine. You’ve learned how to live with it. Natsu is okay, Mom is okay. You’re okay.”_

I chant my mantra faithfully, trying to create a true sense of calm and well-being. Through the simple action I never fail to remind myself of the equally simple principles. The principles of being okay, that I’ve learned how to live with it, I’m fine. After the reminder, get up, ignore the pain, come home, wake up, and do it all over again. Every morning brought the same dream needing the same mantra bringing the same falsified calm. Sometimes, a lot of times, I hated everything about my mornings. I hated that I found myself being so weak as to be enslaved by the same nightmare. Without fail, every morning for the past eight years, I have woken up only to find myself still bound by the heavy chains of that horrid nightmare. And yet I was still able to find a smile on my face, energy bursting and happiness finding no end.

Try as I might no amount of happiness or energy could veil the throbbing radiating throughout my small body, the source beaming from my stump of a leg. A flash of anger blinded me from reason. I forced myself to breathe in through my nose, exhaling through my slightly parted lips and calming the anger flaming inside me. The deep breathing did nothing to quell the pain though it helped me to focus and listen. Constant tapping against my window caught my attention. I glance towards the window and groan. This morning was raining relentlessly. And as ridiculous as it sounds, the rain was the sole source of my current anguish. Rainy caused my stump to ache much more loudly than normal. In turn, my large happiness and energy was harder to produce through the film of pain. When it was raining, my stump would throb, sending large waves of pain flooding my system every few minutes or so. It hurts so much more having to do with something about the nerves trying to connect with something that’s not there anymore.

I allowed a few more deep breaths slip past my lips. Calm washed over me, sweeping away any lingering effects of the recent panic attack. I listen to the rain beating mercilessly into the small window, providing a lulling background music. It’s tempting to just ignore the outside world and crawl back inside the safe cocoon of the blankets. I know it isn't right and that it’s cowardly. But the more convincing factor is that sleep would have been inevitable and that horrible nightmare guaranteed with supposed bliss. Regretfully, I swing my legs over the edge of my low bed and sit for a moment, rubbing at my stump, effectively easing the pain. Soothing actions like this always work but I can’t do it all day. Sheets of rain continue to fall gracefully against a grey sky outside.

_The rain is only one more factor to your day, Shoyou. You’ll be fine._

A search of my room for my uniform brings me up empty. Various items of clothing litter the floors. I'm sure most of the clothes wouldn’t past even the sniff test. I crinkle my nose at the sight though I really can’t bring myself to care. A pile near my bedside table disguises a limb, the realistic, fleshy toes peeking out from under a sleep shirt sporting the English word “swag”. I toss the shirt aside to get at the prosthetic hidden underneath. I glare disdainfully at it. The prosthetic only gleams at me, mocking me and the rain drumming outside.

My fingers sink into the synthetic fleshy layer as I snatch it closer to me. Biting my lip, I prepare myself with a few deep breaths before attaching the prosthetic. The clamps puncture into place, digging into my skin. I clench my jaw. The pain is something I’m used to but the rain magnifies it to the point where it’s almost completely unbearable. Short exhales come snorting through my nose. Just more preparation. I stand hesitantly. I stumble a bit before regaining control. Taking a few small steps forward tests out the prosthetic. Yet another precaution to add to the morning routine. 

_Practice is going to be rough today_ , I think, eyeing my leg. My ears hone in on the rain pounding against my window, the grim reminder of a terrible day yet to come.

A few curses tumble from my mouth as I catch a glance of the clock at my bedside table from the corner of my vision.

“Shoyou,” Mom warns, hearing my curses and also probably eyeing a clock of her own.

“I know! Sorry!” I yell down. I groan to myself. “Shoyou, you _idiot_! You’re gonna be late to school!” I quickly pull on my school clothes, brushing my teeth. As I pass, I catch a look of myself in the mirror and cringe. My wild hair is even crazier, dark circles highlight my sunken eyes, my already pale complexion is even paler. All in all, I simply look like crap. Groaning, I kick the door in frustration with my good foot. And I immediately regret it. My foot throbs as I hold it, biting my tongue to restrain more streams of curses. The pain pulsing in my foot does keep my mind off of the constant ache in my stump. I walk gingerly down the stairs, wincing as I step on my newly injured foot. Stepping down also causes more aching to my leg; the clamps stab up into my flesh with every step.

A heavenly smell leads me to the kitchen. The trail ends to reveal a steaming breakfast plate and I instantly wish I had woken up earlier to eat to savor not to just shove needed calories down my throat. Mom doesn’t have many opportunities to cook for us so I feel bad for not being able to fully appreciate the meal. I hurriedly stuff the food into my mouth. “Bye, Mom!” My muffled call comes through a barrier of a full mouth.

“Wait, Shoyou.” Mom appears from her room, looping earrings through her ears. 

_She must have a new client today. Or maybe a promotional interview._

Her expression is serious as she works her fingers around her ears. “It’s raining.”

I nod hastily as I throw the things I’ll need into my school bag. “Yeah, I know,” I offhandedly say. The English homework that I had left at school partially incomplete abruptly haunts my mind. I close my eyes and groan.

Mom clicks an annoyed heel on the tile. My attention snaps to her, not completely focused. She narrows her usually cheery eyes. “You be extra careful today, okay?” Like the pain, this warning is a regular occurrence when rain hits. I roll my eyes. “Shoyou?”

“ _Okay_ , Mom.” I gesture grandly. “I have to go. I’m already getting a late start and I have practice and--”

Mom now rolls her eyes at me. “Okay, _okay_. Go have a good day at school.” Sighing, I sling my school bag over my shoulder and race outside. Mom calls her last goodbyes. “I love you, Shoyou, be extra careful at practice today!”

Rain rolls down my back, instantly soaking my jacket and seeping through to my bones. I hop onto my bike and, ignoring the pain wracking my body, I enjoy the earthy smell diffusing in the air as I ride down the hill. Feeling brave, I take my hands off the handlebars and glide smoothly the slick hill road. Daring even further, I raise my arms in the air, yelling victoriously. Calls of “Yahoo!” get the lost to the sound of rain. Despite the painful downpour pounding against my back, I’ve made up my mind that today is going to be a good day. It’s this thinking that allows me to survive as the appearance of myself.

 

***

 

Loud clanging rings heavily. It’s the only sound filling my ears as obnoxious as it is. The clanging belongs to the long awaited bell of the last class of the day which officially signals the end of the school day. I’m tempted to continue sleeping. I was enjoying a dream consisting of sharing pork buns with the Small Giant who told me I was the best Ace he had ever seen.

“Hinata-kun,” a girl’s quiet, squeaky voice accompanies a soft poking to the inside of my elbow. She continues to gently prod at the fleshy parts of my arm. “Hinata-kun.”  
I limply raise my arm to shake my wrist slightly as my acknowledgment of her persisting presence. The girl huffs out a sigh as she whines to me, “Hinata-kun, this is the third time you’ve fallen asleep this week. Yachi-kun is starting to worry more and more. Any more worrying and she’s going to find a permanent crease between her eyebrows.”

I huff and raise my head to look at the girl pawing at me. She’s cute in her two pigtails tied with pink bobs. The style reminds me of Natsu though this girl’s hair is much longer and a light brown. Natsu’s hair was also a wild mess like mine whereas this girl’s hair was well behaved.

 _It’s Shiratori Miyuki, Yachi’s friend._

“Thanks, Shiratori,” I grumble.

Shiratori laughs prettily though I don’t really know what. Was it my expression out my grumble or something different all together? “I have to go. Bye Hinata-kun! Get some good rest and save Yachi-kun from all of her worrying!” 

Lazily I wave goodbye as I strive with some resistance to fully wake myself up. This last class was not the only one which I had spent sleeping peacefully through. Most of my classes had been slept through without concern of future consequences. Again. Like Shiratori said, this was not the first time I had slept through a class before.

_I really should start paying attention. My grades are really starting to reflect on my sleeping habits. Or is it the other way around?_

I mindlessly sling my bag over my shoulder and race out of the classroom and down the maze of hallways, surprising a few students still lingering to chat in the halls. Trying to beat the constant rain, I race out to the gym which is nothing in itself new. As I come nearer, I hear the familiar sound of volleyballs slamming into the hardwood floors and echoing pleasantly out to my ears Loud grunts of frustration accompany each sound of smacking against the gym floors. Mutters self-critique the movements as well.

_The sound of Kageyama._

I grin.

Shaking my head, I go to the open door, watching in awe at the sight of Kageyama practicing his already amazing jump serves. Though not as much as the Grand King Oikawa-san, Kageyama exudes grace as he walks to the back line to serve. He truly carries the crown title of ‘King of the Court’ well on his slender shoulders. Kageyama bounces the ball a couple of times before holding it, savoring the perfect fit of the ball in his large palms. He holds it close, the object itself sacred to his heart. At last Kageyama elegantly prepares his jumps with a few long strides, rolling the ball off of his fingertips to fly in the air in front of him. The many muscles in his thighs bunch powerfully underneath him as the recoil brings him to soar dangerously through the air. Complete and utter focus commands his features as Kageyama purely concentrates on the destruction of whoever dare get in his way. And in that instance I once again am reminded that Kageyama is the perfect embodiment of the fearful crows that Karasuno was once feared for. His palm slams into the ball which bowls over the empty water bottle acting as a target. Kageyama lands gracefully on his toes, prepared for whatever his imagined opponent might send to him.

I let Kageyama complete another perfect serve before calling out, “Oi, Bakageyama!”

With a scowl of concentration already in place, Kageyama glares faithfully at me. Kageyama forgets about the ball he had just tossed high into the air as it lands onto his head and bounces off onto the ground. It rolls to join the many other scattered volleyballs. Kageyama’s brows twitch in annoyance and his scowl sets deeper into his face. I resist the urge to shrink away from the dark aura emanating from the King’s stare. We’re friends now but only a few months ago I would have been intimidated pathetically by that famous expression. In fact, I remember quite well the feeling of panic when fighting on the opposite side of the net against Kageyama not too terribly long ago.  
Default defense: always keep a bright smile on. 

“We’re gonna practice our quick today, right?” Kageyama’s expression softens microscopically, but enough for me to notice the approval in his features. He nods curtly. My smile broadens. “Yes! I got to change, be back soon!”

Kageyama grunts, already focused again on perfecting his serves further. I laugh as I run quickly to the club room to change. Though it would be easier to go a longer route and to stay out of the rain, I brave the slightly muddy run to the club room. By the time I am safely under a roof, I’m soaked thoroughly and mud splatters the cuffs of my pants. My uniform looks like some modern artist created a masterpiece. _‘Boy lost in Mud’_.

 _Mom is going to_ kill _me_.

I fling the heavy metal door open, eager to get out of the wet cold and to practice. As per usual, I’m the only one present. I change quickly, mentally reviewing things I’d like to try with Kageyama. Guilt for yet again making Kageyama have to wait on me to dual practice sits in the back of my mind, past more important things like volleyball techniques. Kageyama and I always would race each other to be the first one to the gym. Our rules: 1. We have to start after the last bell rang 2. We have to change as quickly as possible 3. We have to go to the gym and successfully serve a ball. If skipped or done out of order, we would lose the race. I lost a lot especially this week, because Kageyama had always started on time. (Today makes Kageyama have 32 wins over my 30). Three days of this week I had been sleeping when we were supposed to start the race. Kageyama had been elated the first day it happened because he had won by minutes. Today, I can tell he’s more than a little agitated towards me though I don’t know why he would care so much, especially if he continued to win by such a large margin.

I finished changing into the Karasuno practice gear, casting my dirty school things clumsily off to the side, not bothering to properly put them away. My teammates had long ago learned (and accepted) that I was far too eager to get to practice. Suga, our vice captain/team mom, had first tried to stop my habit to get me to clean up. It took a few weeks before Suga finally threw in the towel.

I ran out of the room, clambering down the metal steps. The echos of my footsteps rung in the cover of the open hallway. I got a few energetic steps out of the cover before I violently froze up, tripping and twitching straight into the ground. Pain had shot up my leg rendering me motionless. On top of the pain, my foot had lodged into a clump of mud sending me sprawling face first into cold, hard ground. My face stings from the collision with the ground but it wasn’t what I was focused on. Crying out, I clutch my leg, trying desperately to soothe the fierce pain pulsating there. It was a bit nauseating.

“Hinata?!” Suga’s worry echos strongly.

Oh, crap.

Suga abandons his conversation with Daichi and Asahi in favor of running over to me. He crouches down, careful to keep from the mud. “Hinata, are you okay?”

“Suga, he only tripped, he’s fine. Besides, he’s a tough kid.” Daichi sighs. He adds, “Stop worrying.” 

Suga turns to Daichi, annoyance plain on his face and evident in his voice. “I know he’s a tough kid, that’s why I’m worried. He cried out, Daichi!” Daichi holds up his hands as Suga glares at him. Suga rolls his eyes before directing his full attention on me. “What happened?” The tender worry in his voice vaguely reminds me of my mother’s warning from this morning.

Definitely the team mom.

I groan loudly and try to grin through the pain. It sorta works. “Oh, nothing. It’s fine-- I’m fine. I just…” I trailed off trying to find a good excuse. I might as well use part of the truth. “My foot got caught in the mud and I landed badly on my knee. And face. Mostly my face. But I’m fine!” Daichi dissolves into laughter as Asahi chuckles because the story is such a typical ‘Hinata’ thing to do. Suga stubbornly continues to look worried despite his companions laughing.

“I told you he was fine, Suga. You need to stop worrying. That’s why your hair’s grey, it’s from all of the worrying you do,” Daichi jokes.

Suga continues to actively ignore Daichi’s remarks. Suga doesn’t look convinced that I’m okay. “Be careful next time, Hinata. And don’t be afraid to come tell me if your knee or anything else starts hurting.” Suga nods his head at his fellow third years. “We’re heading to get changed. You and Kageyama start stretching. You’ll have plenty of time to work on your quick. Don’t strain your knee in warm ups.” Daichi and Asahi start walking away, satisfied with our conversation. Suga stays. “Seriously Hinata, come talk to me. At any time. You don’t have to be in pain to come talk to me. See you in a few minutes.” Daichi comes back to pull Suga with him, laughing at some story Asahi shared. Suga gives me one final look of concern before turning to be a part of their previous conversation once more.

I stay, staring at Suga’s back, wondering what Karasuno did to deserve such a great friend and leader. I’m grateful we have someone like him though. Suga keeps Daichi sane. If Daichi was insane like the rest of us we’d have trouble.

I realize that I’ve been rubbing at my leg, unconsciously soothing myself. I glare at my leg.

“You almost got us caught, stupid.” I continue to glare at my offender, also praying that it would hold up.

No one outside of my family, with the exception of the school nurse and my physical therapist, knows about my leg and the history behind it. It’s always been something that I’ve been wary of. Even Natsu, as little as she is, knows to keep it a secret. I have always thought of my prosthetic as my weakness. And when others know your weaknesses they treat you differently. Of course how they treat you differently depends upon the severity of your specific weakness. Before Mom moved Natsu and I out of a small town, almost everyone of the town knew of the accident. They treated me significantly different. They treated me as a fragile, incapable child. I was a child, but I was by no means fragile or incapable. Quite the opposite. But because people thought I was fragile, so I remained. If anyone found out about my ‘handicap’, I would be ruined. I’m already underestimated in volleyball but if my teammates or Coach found out, I probably wouldn’t be able to play despite having proved myself. Or Coach Ukai wouldn’t let me play as a starter and I would be told to take it easy in everything. If people knew about my prosthetic, they’d take everything I love about volleyball away from me and as stupid as it sounds to even my own ears I wouldn’t be able to be the same person.

Placing a balancing hand on the ground, I gingerly test my leg. When I don’t crumble from pain, I deem it safe to get up. Choosing the dry walkway, I continue to carefully pick my way towards the gym. I’m extra cautious as I step into the gym. Yachi waves me over as soon as she notices me standing in the open doorway. Her frantic waving brings a smile to my face as I jog over.

“Yachi!” I greet her energetically, waving warmly. Yachi furrows her brows. “Uh-oh, someone’s not happy. What’s up?”

Yachi glares at me though her features prevent it from really feeling menacing. “Of course I’m not happy! Shiratori told me that she had to wake you up again, Hinata!” I grimace. Yachi continues to glare. “You can’t be sleeping, Hinata. Your grades are starting to drop.”

I start at her comment. “How did you--?!”

Yachi waves off my question. “I’ve been talking to your teachers. We don’t want you to not be able to play because of your grades, now do we?” Again, I grimace, remembering the game Kageyama and I almost missed because of issues with our grades. “But that’s besides the point. Yes, your grades are important, but so is your health, Hinata. As your friend, I’m worried.” 

I roll my eyes. “Yachi,” I whine.

“Hinata.”

“I’m fine, really.” Someone is glaring holes into my head. “I’ve got to go, Yachi. I can practically feel Kageyama glaring holes into the back of my head.”

“Fine. But you need to be more careful, Hinata.”

Again, I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I will.”

Yachi sighs. “Hinata.”

“Bye, Yachi!” I wave. Yachi sighs dramatically as I jog over to meet Kageyama who continues to relentlessly glare at me.

“Tch,” He scolds when I’m near enough, “what took you so long, dumbass?” I roll my eyes. I open my mouth to make some snarky reply before I’m interrupted.

“He fell,” Tanaka laughs from behind me. “On his face. It was hilarious, such a typical thing for you to do.” Tanaka has a smug smirk that sits comfortably on his face when I glance at him. 

I groan when I see Noya grinning wickedly. “Yeah, didn’t think your senpais noticed, did you Hinata?” Tanaka and Noya’s shoulders shake as they laugh heartily. Kageyama quirks his lips from his scowl to a menacing smirk. It’s not much better. I huff, obviously beaten.

Coach Ukai’s voice bellows throughout the large gym. “We’re going to be doing three-on-three’s today, get into the groups from last time.”

Noya’s cheers seem to bounce off the walls much like himself. Noya’s voice causes me to notice Asahi, Suga, and Daichi peacefully stretching in the corner of the gym, chatting with Kiyoko. 

At coach’s call, the third years disband as Daichi claps his hands, commandeering the attention of the rest of the players. “Come on, guys! Finish stretching and get with your teams!”

Tanaka claps a hand onto my shoulder and Kageyama’s. He screams out to Noya that, “We’re going to cream you suckers!”

Noya laughs as he points to Asahi and Yamaguchi and sticks a big thumb towards himself. “You’re playing against a team matched in heaven, buddy. You don’t have a chance!”

Tanaka prepares another loud reply before Coach shoots them a glare. “Your teams aren’t competing against each other yet, so shut up so we can start, yeah?” A few of my teammates, including myself, snicker at Coach’s bluntness. Noya and Tanaka engage in what I can only describe as a ‘scowl-off’.

“Asahi and Ennoshita, your teams on the right half of the gym. Tanaka and Daichi, your teams on the left half of the gym. Pick whatever sides of the court you’ll be on. The team with the shortest member gets the first serve. You choose who on the team gets the ball. Once you’re all settled each game will start on my whistle. Yachi and Kiyoko will be the referee’s for each match. Get going!” 

Each team scrambles to their respective halves, quickly fighting over which side of the court they want. Kageyama and I stay quiet as we watch Tanaka vouch for us for the left side as Suga argues for the same. A game of rock, paper, scissors later finds our team on the right side of the court and Suga grinning victoriously. Suga destroys Daichi’s hand in a high five and prepares for the start.

Tanaka tosses a ball to Kageyama, ultimately deciding on Kageyama being the first serve. A very good decision and an obvious one at that. The other team adjusts accordingly; Suga takes the front line as Tsukishima and Daichi cover the back. Tanaka stands on the back line. I remain on the front where Kageyama will join me following his serve.

From the corner of my eyes, I see Kiyoko sitting in a fold-up chair on the sidelines of the court, a whistle ready between her lips.

Coach Ukai blows the whistle, signaling for the serves of each match. With Kageyama serving first, we were at a large advantage.

“Nice serve, Kageyama,” Tanaka and I call after him as he prepares for his killer serve. I force myself to look forward instead of admiring his beautiful serve. Kageyama performs his jump serve which contains much more power than he usually packs into it. 

_Something must be bothering him_ , I faintly think.

Kageyama joins me as the ball easily soars over the net, about to slam into a vulnerable spot in the other side of the court. Daichi makes a desperate dive for the impending ball, sending it back over with a call of, “Sorry!”. 

Tanaka shouts out, “Chance ball!” He easily picks it up and we all quickly lose ourselves to the game.

Kageyama sets perfectly. Jumping, I’m prepared to some the ball with everything I have only for the ball to arch past me to Tanaka’s waiting palm. Tsukishima blocks effortlessly, forcing me to shakily pick it up.

“Chance ball,” Suga calls out to Daichi who, again, receives the ball well to Suga. Suga sets prettily to Tsukishima who manages to get past us, scoring a point. Suga is soon serving safely which I shakily pick up and Kageyama turns to Tanaka who spikes us a point.

Soon we get to a point in the match where our team is faring fairly well. We’re ahead, but not by much. Only by two points. One now. I missed a receive.

“Hinata, you dumbass! You need to practice your receives more if your playing is anything to go by!” I flinch at Kageyama’s words which hold more sincere malice in them than usual. Even his scowl looks ruder somehow.

_I know, poophead Bakageyama!_

“What did you just say?” My eyes widen. I did not mean to say that out loud.

Kageyama forces me back a few steps. I throw up my hands in innocence but to no avail. Kageyama was almost to the point of growling.

“Oi!” Daichi yelled from across the court, “Cut it out you two! What is wrong with you guys today?”

“Tch.” And with one final glare, Kageyama walks off to his position next to me on the court. I sens a mental prayer of thanks out to Daichi for saving my bacon.  
I barely had enough time to gather my wits before Tsukishima was serving. Again, Tanaka received it and Kageyama dumped the ball which I thought would work. Tsukishima, however, has grown substantially in his read blocking skills and was able to successfully receive it with a flick of his wrist. Suga catches the ball, setting quickly to Tsukishima who had backed away from net in preparation for his spike. From the way Tsukishima was angled I assumed he was going to cross to my direction. Kageyama was with me as we jumped, ready to successfully block. I misread the spike. Tsukishima didn’t really spike at all instead favoring a feint.

My body flinches naturally on instinct, preparing for Kageyama’s insults which never came. Confused, I peer up at Kageyama. He stares right back.

Kageyama leans down, whispering into my ear. “Back row quick,” he says simply. A devilish smile creeps across my face. Nodding vigorously, I join Tanaka on the back line. Tanaka raises his eyebrow at me. My response is a simple but clear mischievous grin. His grin is nothing short of absolutely wicked and I know instantly that he understands. Tsukishima serves into the flat surface of Tanaka’s outstretched arms, making for a smooth transition into Kageyama’s skilled hands. I move as fast as I can, pouring every ounce of power I have into my legs. I’m soon soaring through the air, more than ready for our special quick. But something went wrong with my jump and again familiar worry sets in because _I don’t know why_. My palm viciously spikes the ball with so much power I can feel my palm already stinging. But that faint pain doesn’t matter. All I know is that _something_ went wrong. And suddenly I remember the rain pounding outside and how it’s the cause for the pain originating in my bad leg and how I wasn’t as careful as I should have been.

It seems I fall in slow motion.

Too late Daichi and Suga both dive after the ball to receive my spike. A small smile creeps triumphantly onto Kageyama’s lips. There’s an excited victory cry from Tanaka. Sighs of defeat from the captain and his vice. An annoyed huff from Tsukishima.

Then I notice the sharp sting of excruciating pain shooting up my right leg. With the excitement of the game I was able to forget about it but now the pain is too much to ignore. For the second time that day a strangled cry of pain escapes unwillingly past my lips. Kageyama slowly turns to me. I watch his beautiful ( _do I really think it’s beautiful or is it just the person smiling_ ) small smile melting into worry and confusion as he looks after me. He was expecting me to look equally, in my own way, as excited as he was for the successful play. But Kageyama was met with a face twisted up in pain instead of joy. I make first contact with the ground landing on my bad leg. I can feel each individual clamp ripping from their places embedded into my skin. My prosthetic leg that I worked so hard to buy with my own money skids feet away from me. I land painfully on my back, my head crashing into the hardwood floors of the gym and bouncing up only to slam back down. I clench my eyes closed, biting my lip to keep from screaming due to the amount of pain circulating in my body. Everything still revolves in slow motion. I’m not sure when I would feel real time again. A sharp inhale of breath echoes throughout the gym before being followed swiftly by a deathly silence. 

Time resumes normally though it feels like it drags along.

I wish time could speed up.

At this point I’m barely keeping tears of pain from spilling over the brim. The uncomfortable silence continues to rule the gym. Everyone at this point remains in some kind of state of shock. I brave opening my eyes and regret it. All eyes are zeroed in on me. Kageyama has his mouth hanging slightly ajar, his eyes shimmering down at me. Suga and Daichi, both still on the floor stuck in time with their hands up from the missed receive, look at me with the same shocked ‘o’ of their mouths. Tsukishima finally shows emotion, looking completely taken aback.

 _Pound, pound, **pound**_.

My heart is beating too fast, like I just woke up from my nightmare. Taking deep breathes, I remain on the floor and allow my stump to rest out in front of me.

 _It’s not like I have anywhere to hide it_ , I think bitterly.

To calm myself, I immediately turn to raking my hands through my hair counting the seconds pass by, telling myself I should’ve stayed home. I should’ve heeded Mom’s warnings when my stump was hurting this morning. I should’ve stayed home. I would have been able to keep my secret. Everyone would have still treated me as the same person. Now everything is ruined. Now, I’m the most fragile thing anyone has seen. They all look at me like I am, anyway.

I peer sheepishly once more at Kageyama. It was my turn to be shocked. Kageyama was the first to snap out of this trance, slowly extending his hand out to me. I grip his hand, putting all of my thoughts into the touch.

 _Please, I’m begging you, do_ not _look at like I am weak_.

And Kageyama’s eyes gleam at me like I’m the strongest person he’s ever seen. 

Kageyama gently pulls me up, minding the missing limb. I stumble on my one leg, falling against Kageyama’s sturdy form. I curse. He steadies me. “Sorry,” He mutters, his large hand hovering at my elbow but not insisting. Only a safety net.

I shake my head, whispering, “Thank you, Kageyama.” I clear my throat, keeping my eyes on the floor. “Could you, um, help me to the, uh, bench on the side.” Kageyama grunts his response. He awkwardly wraps his arm around my waist as I do the same. I convince myself that it’s necessary for extra support. We start moving towards a vacant bench. On the opposite side of our court, Coach Ukai and advisor Takeda were sitting, gaping openly at me. Coach Ukai looked like he was itching for a cigarette. My prosthetic sits only a few feet away from the bench Kageyama steers me to. I tug on his arm. Kageyama stops. He looks away when he realizes I’m grasping for the prosthetic. I scoop up the leg, almost falling forward. Kageyama’s quick volleyball reflexes flick out to catch me. I chuckle awkwardly at myself as Kageyama helps me to the bench. I grin up at Kageyama as I plop down onto the bench. “Thanks again, Kageyama. As soon as this is on, I’ll be good to go. We’re going to destroy them!”

Kageyama opens his mouth to say something but thinks better of it. A few minutes of silence lapse as I prepare to attach the prosthetic. Kageyama interrupts my actions through the uncomfortable silence. “Is it gonna… hurt?” He gestures towards my preparations.

“A lot,” I grin, “but I’m used to the pain by now.” He grimaces. I just grin at him. “Here goes.” I redo the clamps. Biting my lip, I try to disguise the pain. Kageyama glares at me. Again, I only grin.

On a count of three, I try standing. Almost immediately pain renders standing impossible much less playing volleyball. I grin nervously. “You know what, I’m gonna take a break for a bit. To rest up.” My palms start sweating profusely. I rub them dry on my pants. They still come up clammy.

The whole of Karasuno’s boys volleyball team had crowded around my bench. But I can’t really call it that. They were spread out in a half moon more than a few meters away, respectfully keeping their distance. Whether they were respectfully doing so or doing so in disgust, I didn’t know. I preferred to think it was the latter.  
Suga spoke up, gentle and calm. “Hinata, I think it might be best if you were to go home. You seem to be in a lot of pain.”

“No, I don’t. I’m fine here,” I snap harshly. Suga flinches, not expecting harsh words like that to ever be spoken by me. I’m surprised at my own words as well. Blood rushes to my face in the familiar heat of a blush. I’m quiet now. “Sorry...”

Daichi speaks hesitantly, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Suga’s right, Hinata. It would probably be for the best.” I sigh at Daichi’s words, knowing for all the world that he and Suga are both right. I even admitted that to myself. But it made me angry because it reminded me that people would treat me differently once they knew about my leg.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell us about your damned leg? Do you not trust us or some other stupid shit?” I flinch further, very surprised and hurt at Tanaka’s words. This was far out of Tanaka’s character to be cruel like this. Tsukishima was the most likely candidate for words that harsh but, still, we were teammates and the oddest sort of friends. Tanaka’s words were even too harsh for Tsukishima.

“ _Ryu_!” Noya whispers his exclamation, also clearly shocked at his behavior.

Kageyama quickly comes to my defense. “I think you should mind your own business about Hinata’s reasons, Tanaka- _senpai_.” Kageyama spits out the honorific, calm, cool, _hateful_ anger radiating from his person. He was frightening.

Tanaka took a step towards Kageyama. “And what if I don’t, eh? He owes us an explanation!”

Kageyama reciprocated, taking a step towards Tanaka, putting himself in front of me. His body obstructed my view of Tanaka in all his anger. “No he doesn’t! In what world does he owe us an explanation about his leg? It’s his own damned right to keep it from us. We wouldn’t have even known about it if Hinata wasn’t so _human_ and showed pain for once in his goddamned life! That’s how fucking good he is. He was playing just as well as any other day despite obvious pains.” Kageyama was absolutely _fuming_. His quiet rage was almost a whisper at this point. All at my expense. “Just focus on the fact that he’s good at volleyball if you’re so small minded that you can’t look past his handicap. Nothing else matters as far as you’re concerned. So much about teammates being _friends_ , huh?” Kageyama had drifted closer to Tanaka during his rant, this point almost nose-to-nose with him. Kageyama glares and turns on his heel, walking with purpose towards the door. He leaves us all behind in shock. We're all surprised at Tanaka and his actions but I dare say we were more surprised by Kageyama. His speech was the most he had ever spoken at one time. We’d never heard him legitimately angry before. Only annoyed. That was almost always directed at me. To have the largest speech he’s spoken in his way of real anger to be all in my name was nothing short of absolutely shocking. The worst part was that because it was _Kageyama_ who had done all this made my cheeks burn and my heart beat restlessly. But it wasn’t anxiety-inducing as it was after my nightmares. It was… nice. Ish. And that in itself was troubling, though I didn’t fully understand them.

Kageyama pauses at the closed door, his hand on the handle. I couldn’t read his expression; his back was facing me. “I’m not going to practice with pricks who can’t look past a ‘ _handicap_ ’, if you can call it that, in one of the best players we have. A team is supposed to be family, not enemies.” Kageyama turns to face Coach Ukai and advisor Takeda, both of whom were shocked beyond anything any of us could imagine on their faces. “Coach, I’m leaving a bit early today. I’ll be back tomorrow. I apologize for any inconvenience.” Kageyama bows respectfully, turns once more, and leaves. His exit brings a bout of silence in his wake, a common theme of today’s practice.

Kageyama Tobio, in all of his career, has never been known to willingly miss even part of a volleyball practice.

“Hinata,” Coach Ukai calls after me. Sheepishly, I limp to him. Yachi runs to my aid, gently helping me along. She steps away when I’m properly in front of him. I say my thanks to her and she leaves to go stand by Kiyoko. “Daichi and Suga are right. It’d be best for you to go home and rest up. I understand if you need to skip tomorrow’s practice.” Opening my mouth, I have a protest ready to voice before Ukai cuts me off. “We’ll talk about your leg later. Go look after your friend,” he sighs.

I nod my thanks as I fly to the door, stumbling ridiculously on the way out. Cold envelops me as I throw open the doors of the gym desperately trying to find Kageyama in the dimming light. Only a few minutes had passed since his dramatic exit so he couldn’t have gotten far. I stumble my way around outside, hugging myself from the cold rain. My leg remembers the pain it feels in rain, reacting in small shocks though not quite as violent as before.

After meandering the school grounds and slowly creeping towards the clubroom without any signs of the grumpy raven-haired setter, I cup my hands over my mouth, shouting Kageyama’s name over and over.

I try yelling again. “Kage--!” The breath was knocked from my chest as something large slammed into me. Startled, I glance up to find Kageyama, a jacket thrown over his volleyball clothes, avoiding my gaze, thrusting my bag with my clothes hastily stuffed into it to my chest. His other hand steadies my bike. He must have unlocked it with the key deep within my bag. Kageyama’s eyes meet mine for a second before he tosses his head in the other direction.

“Are you going to take it or just stand there looking at it?” He says angrily.

“T-thanks,” I stammer out. I’m still buzzed with nerves from the incident in the gym. I take the bag, throwing on a jacket before zipping it up and slinging it over my shoulder. Kageyama send intent on keeping hold on my bike. “Now what?” Kageyama looks down at me, a microscopic smile twitching the corner of his lips as he rolls his eyes.

“My apartment is closer and my father won’t be home. When the rain stops, I’ll walk you back to your house from there. You know, to make sure you don’t die and stuff.” I stare widely disbelieving at Kageyama. “What?!” he exclaims.

“Who are you and what have you done with Bakageyama?”

He scowled. “Dumbass.”

I grin toothily. “There he is.”

“Oh, shut up.” Kageyama starts walking, not waiting for me to catch up. His long legs carry him far before I start walking.

“Hey, wait up!” I call to Kageyama, jogging lightly to reach him. Which was a mistake. My leg, apparently still not able to hold itself, decides to trip me on the way. He turns to see if I’m following him as I trip, about to fall. Again, Kageyama’s quick reflexes saves me as he shoots an arm to balance me. He had dropped my bike against himself to catch me as his other hand was holding an umbrella. He bites his lip from the nudge of pain from the bike. I mutter my thanks as Kageyama pauses to open a large umbrella over us, just in time for the open rain in our path not covered by the overhead metal. I take the bike from him as he begins to argue against the move.

“The extra support from the bike would be nice. Let me take it, you’ve already done enough. Just keep us dry, yeah?” Kageyama keeps the umbrella well over the both of us in his silent agreement. Occasionally unavoidable drops of rain whipped in by wind would splash us but for the most part the umbrella kept us dry.

Our walk was mostly filled with a comfortable, thoughtful silence, the rain a steady background noise. Every time I stole a glance at him, Kageyama’s face was screwed up into a scowl that meant he was thinking rather hard. About the revelation of my leg, no doubt. He probably was wondering why I would keep something major like this from my best friend. Yes, we fought unceremoniously but we were some of the only friends the other had. I sighed. I was more than thankful to Kageyama for being beyond accepting and respectful of the unexpected fact.

Our brooding passed the time quickly and we soon found ourselves arrived at our destination. I have been to Kageyama’s house before though only when his father was not home, the only parent he had as far as I understood much like my mother was the only parent Natsu and I had. I had lost my father to the same accident which took my leg. Kageyama had lost his mother when she decided to leave his father without bothering to bring Kageyama with her. I do not know why she left. When Kageyama had admitted this piece of information long ago he rushed to get it all out, clearly not preferring to dwell on painful facts. I’ve only ever assumed she left because of Kageyama’s father based on the few facts I’ve noticed. 1. Kageyama always referred to his father as ‘father’, never ‘dad’. 2. Kageyama would never extend an invitation to his home unless he knew his father were going to be out and not to return for the night. 3. His father never came to support Kageyama in anything that he did no matter how amazing Kageyama might be. 4. Kageyama avoided any questions asked about his father. Kageyama seemed to not much like his father (if the signs were anything to go by) whom I have never met nor seen. I’m far more observant for the people I care about than people give me credit for.

We quickly find ourselves out of the rain Kageyama leads me up a couple flights of stairs of his open apartment complex. Pausing before a door reading the numbers 662, Kageyama produces a key from a pocket of his bag, unlocking the apartment. He leads the way inside, turning to lock the door. I march determinedly past Kageyama and straight into his room. Throwing my jacket and bag aside, I plop face down onto his bed.

Kageyama calls to me with, “Oi, Hinata!” he sounds exasperated. Soon, he comes into his room, glaring at me before closing the door.

“What?” My words are muffled as I innocently say them. I turn my head to be better heard. “I’m tired and I wanted somewhere nice to lay down.” I turn my head around to meet Kageyama’s scowl. I shrug.

A smile (which it could barely be called) etches itself into Kageyama’s features as he rolled his eyes. He hesitantly sits down next to me, leaning his back against the wall. He brings his knees up to his chest, suddenly looking very small. He was still looking at me. “Do you need any medicine for your leg?”

I shake my head. “No, it’s fine now, thanks Kageyama.” I turn over onto my back, gazing back into Kageyama’s icy blue eyes. “And not just for now. Thank you so much for what you did today.” My cheeks burn and I have to look away, unable to bear the embarrassment of my admission. “Thank you for not seeing me as weak even though I really am. Thank you for being such a great friend.”

Kageyama laughs softly though it carries no humor. “I’m not the great friend, dumbass.” Kageyama sighs and burrows his face into the fold of his elbows resting atop his knees no longer looking at me. I turn my head to look at him. I’m taken aback by the sad expression on his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being such a bad friend. I should have let you trust me enough. I should have _known_! I’ve always noticed, you know. Whenever it rains you’re always less energetic. Like way less but I never thought much of it. I guess I just decided that you didn’t like the rain because it’s too gloomy for you because you’re too much like the sun like your name suggests. But it’s not that, is it? I mean, it’s obviously not. I remember hearing something on a documentary channel on T.V. saying something about victims of limb loss often feel pain triggered by different things in nature, usually rain ‘cause their nerves are reacting to it or something. I knew something so specific like that and I never made the connection and I--”

“Shut up, Kageyama.” He does, shocked at my annoyed tone. “You are a perfectly great friend and anyone who says otherwise is the biggest dumbass.” I add as an afterthought to cheer up the mood, “Besides me, of course.” Kageyama snickers slightly as looks back at me. “And you’re just really awesome, too. Nice playing today by the way.” I wasn’t entirely referring to his volleyball skills. I truly do think highly of Kageyama. A silence blankets us once again. I allow Kageyama to lose himself in his mind but this peace isn’t going well for me. I’ve never been good at silences but I recognize when they need to happen and I try to keep quiet. But the silence almost always sends me into the depths of my mind where I really shouldn’t go. I start thinking of all the things my best friend has done for me. He’s done what I never could imagine him doing, especially for my namesake. He didn’t overreact or treat me like I was glass. He spoke on my behalf, very angry. He then skipped out on volleyball practice, the one thing he actually loves with all of his heart. Then he got all of my things for me and escorted me to the best place he could think of. The thought leaves me beyond warm. So I start to talk if only to keep myself from spiraling down feelings I’m not mature enough to recognize. 

“You shouldn’t blame yourself for not knowing about my leg.” This catches Kageyama’s attention. He stares at me and I’m the one who refuses to look his way now with the exception of occasional glances. “I never wanted anyone to know. I never thought it was important for people to know. Like ‘hi, I’m Hinata Shoyou and half of my right leg is missing. What’s your name?’” Kageyama chuckles. I smile a little. “That’s not really why I didn’t tell anyone, though. My reasoning was that if anyone knew I’d always be treated like I was a fragile bird needing protection. Because people thought I was fragile, that’s what I was. I would have been trapped like that, Kageyama, if not for volleyball. When I saw the Small Giant play, it was like he was telling the world that anyone could be amazing despite whatever ‘handicap’ they may have. His handicap was his height and we share that handicap in volleyball. People already think I’m weak because of my height before they even see me play, Kageyama.”

I hold my hand above my head, clenching and unclenching it to distract myself from the weight of my words. “I don’t need them pitying me too because I don’t have half of a leg. If I played and I played well, I could prove everyone wrong. That’s what the Small Giant taught me. So I did. I’m also queued that if people knew about my prosthetic, they’d take everything I love about volleyball away from me and as stupid as it sounds to even my own ears I wouldn’t be able to be the same person. I love volleyball, Kageyama, because volleyball taught me how I can be strong and cuss people out by doing it.” I take a deep breath, lowering my hand back down to my sides. I find numerous new patterns in the ceiling of Kageyama’s bedroom. 

“You are an amazing dumbass and you don’t credit yourself.”

I bewilderingly stare at Kageyama. “What?!”

“Here you are, one of the best spikers I’ve ever set to who also happens to be the shortest, short enough to be a libero. Despite that, you’re a great player. And then on top of something already amazing by itself you have half of your leg missing and you’re still kicking ass. That is someone who is worth tossing to because determination like that will lead a team to victory.”

Again I find myself blushing furiously because of one Kageyama Tobio. I mutter a quiet, “Thanks.” A pause. “We’ll just have to see what happens with my leg and the volleyball team.”

“Well if you’re kicked off as starter I’m going with you.”

“What the hell are you saying you idiot?! There’s no way in hell I’m letting you bench yourself.”

“I’d bench myself if you were benched because it’s the dumbest decision Coach could ever make and he knows that. Besides, Ukai is smart enough to recognize talent when he sees it. So you’d he kept on. He might tell you to be more careful but he wouldn’t ever far to bench you. You’ve already proven yourself more than once that you are good enough to be a starter. There’s no reason for you to have to do it again.”

Instead of arguing what most other people would see, I let Kageyama get away with what he says. More silence. I hate this damned silence. 

“Do you want to know how it happened?” I say suddenly. 

“Your leg?” I nod, glancing experimentally at Kageyama. He nods slowly, not sure if I’m okay with sharing the story. “You know you don’t have to tell--”

“I know. The cat’s out of the bag so might as well just tell you what happened, right?” Biting my lip, I smile slightly, looking up at Kageyama once more. He encourages me to go on with quirked eyebrows. I sigh. “It was a stupid car crash. I was eight, Natsu was a few months old. She was with my grandparents while my parents took me on a sightseeing trip. I don’t remember why we went. I wish we didn’t. I don’t even remember the trip itself. I just remember the accident. We were on our way home to pick up Natsu when a car started drifting into our lane. My dad -he was driving- he didn’t notice until too late. He and my mom were looking at each other, rolling their eyes because I was whining that I wanted to see Natsu.

"When my dad looked up he barely had enough time to notice the front of a bright red truck crashing into us. He turned the car so that his side of the car would get the most damage. I was behind my mom’s seat. The impact killed my dad while my mom and I were thrown from the car. My leg was caught between seats and the momentum of the crash forced the tear in my leg, a metal shard had finished the job by cutting right through the bone, barely missing my head. I could’ve died but here I am, prosthetic and all. My mom broke a couple ribs which punctured her lungs but those were the worst of her injuries. She’s healed all the way since then. Sometimes she has troubles breathing but that’s only when she gets too excited or when she exercises. She teases that she doesn’t exercise because it’s not good for her and that’s why she diets.” I trail off. I suddenly notice that I have been crying. I must have started when talking. “I have nightmares about it every day of my life, Kageyama.” Tears stream steadily, quickly blurring my vision. Anger flashes in me. In a rare moment I'm quiet and thoughtful. My voice is small, barely audible as I speak. “We were five _minutes_ from home. _Five minutes_!”

Snot and tears pair with my son as I'm forgetting I’m at a friend’s house, forgetting I'm not in the comfort of my own room where this is okay. I'm forgetting to feel ashamed of myself.

Arms are suddenly lifting me up and encircling me. The movement is accompanied by a huff of annoyance that I know isn't genuine. Kageyama squeezes my shoulders lightly. This only brings more tears to my eyes to the point where trying to see is useless. I close my eyes and lean into his touch, burying my face deep into the crook of his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. 9,882 words in the revised first chapter. The original only had 3,461 words. What a ride. Look forward to the next chapter, okay?
> 
> Hit me up on my v crappy tumblr @ pi-writing with writing prompts or praises 'cuz that's always great for the soul which I don't have :'D
> 
> Much love :D


	8. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The adventures of Kageyama and the Dumbass with one leg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't seen you guys in a while. I haven't had any motivation. There might be some slight inconsistency as this was written over the course of a few months and not consecutively. Please tell me if there is anything out of place!

“Hinata?” My response is a grunt, barely audible above my face being shoved into the mattress. My eyes are still puffy and swollen from crying earlier. I had stopped only after a good five minutes into the calming, uncharacteristic hug Kageyama gave me. When I stopped, I had pulled back and awkwardly fist bumped Kageyama’s shoulder. We sat there and waited until he cleared his throat and got up.

“I still need to shower from practice. You do too.”

“The rain doesn’t count?”

Kageyama scrunches up his nose. “Ew, no. You need to use soap and clean water, dumbass.”

I laugh. “I know, I know. I was just kidding, Bakageyama.”

Kageyama rolls his eyes. “Do you wanna go first?”

“No, you go first.” My eyes go wide. “Oh crap, I need to text my mom where I am!”

“Relax, practice would’ve ended only ten minutes ago. I doubt she’s worrying about you. Besides, the rain still hasn’t let up and I’m not letting you walk back until it’s clear skies.”

“Yeah, whatever. You might be stuck with me for the night, if that’s okay.”

Kageyama scrunches his nose in disgust again. “Yeah, maybe you should go home.”

“Oh, shut up and go take your stupid shower, _baka_!” I playfully sling a pillow at Kageyama, hitting him directly in the face before falling onto the floor at his feet. A smug smirk works its way across my lips as Kageyama glares furiously. He turns hot on his heels, not bothering to acknowledge the pillow any further. The sound of the shower running quickly follows a door closing shut. From past instances where we’ve hung out immediately after practices, I know that Kageyama takes quick five minute showers like me which leaves me in a short reprieve of peace in my own mind. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to dwell in my mind especially since our heavy conversation wasn’t even half an hour ago.

To distract myself, I turn my attention to finding my phone. I can’t find it on my person and remember it being safely tucked away deep within the folds of my bag. Finding the offending bag, I glare deeply at it. Getting up wasn’t really on my agenda of things to do. Instead of doing things the easy way and getting up to fish my phone out of my bag, I decide life gets fun if you get creative. I search around me trying to find something long enough to reach the bag not too far away from the bed but still out of my short reach. Minutes pass of failed ideas before I give up on getting creative and just go with the obvious lazy route.

“When you go in to shower, make sure you go quick. The water’s been turning ice randomly so you should be-- What the _hell_ are you doing?!”

Kageyama walks in on me sticking my leg out awkwardly to try and hook my foot through the strap of my bag to drag it over towards me. I snap to him, frozen in place. His expression is all sorts of typical Kageyama confusion.

I roll my eyes before replying. “Trying to get my phone.”

“You couldn’t just get up?”

“No. Toss it to me, would you?”

Kageyama sighs in exasperation by complies to my request. He crosses to my bag, only a short distance from my reach. I stupidly just now notice the only thing covering Kageyama is a fluffy white towel cinched around his waist. The towel only comes to cover halfway to his milky thighs. _His legs are hairy_ , I notice dumbly. From this position I can admire the sculpted lean muscle of his back. The muscles under his smooth complexion move with a lion-like grace even as he does something as simple as moving things around. I notice the same grace in his calves as he stands from his position, clutching my phone in his grasp. He turns to face me allowing me visual access to his defined stomach. Purple and black bruises and gross looking yellow-green ones decorate his front. Similar marks decorated Kageyama’s back. I dismiss the bruises as results of overworking himself in volleyball and go back to admiring the hard muscle made possible by overworking himself. Kageyama pushes his wet hair back out of the way as he peers down at the screen on my phone. For whatever reason my heart speeds up just a little. I’m lying to myself when I saw just a little. I feel like I’m on the verge of a heart attack. My face is on fire.

“Your mom sent a text asking where you were.” Kageyama tosses my phone to me, not bothering to glance at me as he swaggers to his dresser. I squawk, barely catching the phone.

“Thanks,” I manage to squeak past my embarrassment. Kageyama continues to ignore me. Thankfully. My phone dings. I look down, opening my phone to unlock it. My mom has sent quite a few panicked texts. Ever since the car accident, every little thing has freaked my mom out without fail. Especially since she also sees her son as fragile.

 

(5:15) _Hinata Shoyou, where in the world are you?!_  
(5:15) _You are in a lot of trouble._  
(5:16) _Shoyou, please text me back._  
(5:16) _Ore call me_  
(5:16) _*or_  
(5:20) _Shoyou, I’m getting worried, please text me back_  
(5:21) _I need to know you’re safe._

I roll my eyes and type out what I hope is a calming message.

(5:22) **I’m fine, mom**

The message itself is, apparently, not satisfying.

(5:22) _WHERE ARE YOU?!_

(5:23) **I’m at Kageyama’s**  
(5:23) **I’m staying over**

(5:23) _WHY DIDN’T YOU ASK PERMISSION?_

(5:24) **Why are you texting in all caps?**  
(5:24) **The rain’s been bothering my leg**  
(5:24) **Kageyama offered for me to stay until the rain clears up**  
(5:25) **The rain doesn’t look like it’s going to let up anytime soon**

 

It takes a few minutes for my mom to respond. She’s putting the dots together. She knows that no one knows about my leg and if someone were to find out it would be a big deal to me. I think by now she understands that something very big must have happened where I needed to tell Kageyama. She knows I would never in a million years tell anyone about my leg unless it was absolutely necessary. If I had my way, I would live my life without telling a single person that my right leg which looks so very real is actually just a bunch of synthetic tissue, plastic, and metal.

(5:29) _OH._  
(5:30) _I’M SORRY, BABY._  
(5:31) _JUST TELL ME EARLIER NEXT TIME, OKAY? I DON’T WANT TO WORRY ABOUT YOU. YOU’RE GIVING ME MORE GRAY HAIRS THAN I NEED._

(5:32) **Yeah, ok**  
(5:32) **Thanks for understanding, mom**

(5:33) _NO PROBLEM, BABY BOY. I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. BE SAFE._  
(5:35) _I LOVE YOU._

I glance away from my phone, wondering why my mom’s still texting in all caps. Kageyama grunts, drawing my attention to him. He now stands only in a pair of boxer briefs which is somehow at the same time a million degrees worse and just as delightfully suggestive. It’s worse because now I can see what volleyball has done to his thighs and, very noticeably, his butt.

His thighs are thick cords of muscle covered, but not disgustingly so, in thick black hair ever so gradually fading away starting mid-thigh. Kageyama’s butt, however, is another level of blazing heat to my cheeks.

_It’s a very good butt_ , I think offhandedly, but, in truth, it’s more than a good ass. It’s a _great_ ass. The fact that his ass is muscular and that round means that it’s indeed a very, _very_ great ass.

Admitting this fact to myself makes me blush even harder. I wonder if at this point I’ll get a headache from over heating.

My phone dings again, blissfully taking me away from my thoughts about my best friend’s ass.

(5:42) _I DON’T MEAN FOR MY TEXTS TO SOUND MEAN AND ANGRY._  
(5:43) _Natsu just showed me how to turn off the caps on my phone. Love you._

My mom’s simple texts startle me into laughter, a thankful reprieve from my increasingly sexual thoughts coming from a supposedly innocent mind.

Kageyama whips his head around to glare at me.

“What’s so funny, dumbass?”

I wave a hand off at Kageyama who is now clothed, saving me from awkward thoughts. “Nothing. My mom was texting me in all caps and just sent me a text in normal text saying that she had my little sister show her how to turn off caps lock on her phone.”

Kageyama stares at me dumbly. “Why is that so funny?”

I sigh, rolling my eyes. “Just is. Forget it.” I toss my phone back onto my bag. It bounces off and lands on the floor with a thud.

“Whatever. Are you gonna take a shower or are you just gonna continue smelling like shit?”

“So vulgar, Kageyama!” Kageyama snorts. “Yeah, I’m on my way. I’m also not gonna be a prude and take clothes with me into the bathroom so I don’t prance around naked!” I go to my bag, searching for the spare clothes I keep in case I go somewhere after practice and I don’t want to be caught in my school uniform or stuck in the sweaty practice clothes.

Kageyama glares harder. “I wasn’t naked.”

“That’s not the point, _baka_! You were... indecent.” I exclaim, awkwardly sifting for the right words as I march off to the shower, ignoring the burning sensation high in my cheeks. Behind the shut door, Kageyama snorts. The door provides a nice rest as I lean against it, trying to calm my racing heart.

_Stupid Kageyama. Always making me go…_ Gwah _! Not in the good way? It doesn’t really feel like a good spike, does it?_

My leg throbs harshly again; a reminder that I’m still in pain. Which, you know, is just great. Thankfully, being in the privacy of Kageyama’s bathroom, I can take off my leg without Kageyama freaking out at the sight of his best friend removing his leg, something he isn’t exactly used to. Yet. Now that the cat was out of the bag, I might remove my leg to be able to rest before and/or after practices. There’s at least one tiny good thing that came out of this, I guess.

A quick shower proves to discard all previous indecent thoughts of an indecent Bakageyama and replenishes my energy and overall positivity. I sing as loudly and as off key as I can to piss Kageyama off the whole time I occupy the bathroom. I can almost _hear_ Kageyama rolling his eyes.

Towelling off, my heart sinks as I don’t find clean clothes that I had brought in. Part of my franticness is relieved when I see the clean pair of boxer briefs that I had snagged before storming in here, _thank god_. Also upon seeing the clean pair of underwear I remember, with utter dread, that those are the only clean change of clothes that I happened to have with me. Earlier this morning when my leg was hurting too badly I figured I wouldn’t go anywhere after school in favor of laying around at home.  
I groan.

_Kageyama wouldn’t mind lending me a shirt, would he?_

I peek my head through the bathroom door, letting rolls of warm steam escape as I call, “Baka!”

Kageyama grunts.

“I don’t have any clean clothes!”

It takes a few seconds for Kageyama to respond. “Wear your uniform, then for all I care.”

“ _Kaaaageeeeeyaaaaamaaaaa_ ,” I whine. I would stomp my feet but I only have one foot currently, heavily leaning onto the door for support so I wouldn’t topple over. “That would be like undoing the shower! I’d be all _eww_ and _ugh_ and _ehhhh_ again.”

Kageyama turns and glares at me. His eyes are calculating, seemingly debating the pros and cons of lending me clothes.

I grin and coo out, “Kaaaggggeeeeeyyaaaama.”

He rolls his eyes, turning to shuffle through his drawers. “Okay!” I say triumphantly in heavily accented English, one of the only words I really know how to say. Kageyama once again glares at me as he tosses a shirt and some shorts at me. I flash my grin at him and he, again, rolls his eyes and turns back to what he was doing. I close the bathroom door and examine the clothes he gave me. The shirt is awfully big and has a cartoon milk carton printed on it saying ‘got milk?’. I roll my eyes because the shirt is so simply _Kageyama_. The shorts are plain black athletic shorts that I’ve seen Kageyama wear a few times to practice. The shirt engulfs me as I put it on and I curse Kageyama, not for the first time, for being so tall. One side on the shirt chooses to hang off of and expose my pale right shoulder. After a few minutes of fighting to keep it all on my shoulders and not exposing one, I give up and let the paleness of my skin shine through almost blindingly. The shorts are a whole nother problem. Because of Kageyama’s annoying height, his hips are also naturally bigger. A lot bigger than my own. And seeing how these shorts don’t have any drawstring, I don’t have any pants to wear.

I huff, annoyed, but shrug the fact off and accept that I’ll just have to make do without them. I pull open the door and skip out, jumping up and landing with a bounce on my back onto Kageyama’s comfortable bed. Kageyama turns to glare and probably scold me for jumping on his bed when he sees only a shirt covering my body (and it really covers everything, hanging down to my knees) and promptly stops working. A little strangled sound comes from his throat and a light pink colors his cheeks.

I flush, not really having worked out the fact that this might make Kageyama uncomfortable even though we’ve seen each other practically naked many times for volleyball. But it might be uncomfortable for him for whatever reasons. I mumble, “The shorts were too big” and toss them at Kageyama who barely stops them from falling to the floor after hitting his face. He nods quickly and stuffs them away before turning back to homework laying out on his desk.

When I realize he isn’t going to say anything else, I take the opportunity the silence provides to really look at Kageyama’s room, trying to glimpse stuff that I might have missed.

It somehow doesn’t surprise me that there are very little personal possessions, not even a volleyball poster. There’s just a tattered old volleyball sitting in the corner next to a newer one with maybe only a couple years of use. Kageyama’s room is, overall, pristine, not anything out of place. There’s a simple desk next to his drawer with a lamp and a calendar hanging above it on the correct date. Like him, I have a calendar above my desk but it’s stuck on this time a few years ago. There’s a small bedside table where a clock rests, large green numbers glaring at me, reading a bold _**6:00 p.m.**_.

The sound coming from outside tells me that the rain is not going to stop anytime soon.

“Looks like you’re going to be stuck with me for the night, Kageyama,” I say nonchalantly. Kageyama grunts his response. I graciously let a few minutes of silence pass, almost able to hear the gears grinding with too much effort in Kageyama’s brain as he glares at his math homework. I lift my head to glance at the worksheet to find his hands are in his lap and the first problem is only half-finished. “You know your homework isn’t going to do itself if you just stare at it.”

“Shut up, Hinata. I’m concentrating.”

“On what, moron? Your lap?”

Kageyama throws a glare over his shoulder in my general direction. I snicker. “You make it hard to concentrate, you know.” He refuses to look at me, opting instead to look at the hands in his lap, the homework completely forgotten. I notice the tips of his ears reddening.

“Yeah, well, you don’t make it so easy either, buddy.” Kageyama spins around. I smirk at him. “I mean, especially with all your caveman grunts.”

Kageyama growls, proving my point. I giggle and he seems to make the connection, immediately stopping. We stare at each other for a few moments before he’s lunging across the room at me. I squeak and run out of his room. I hear him flop against the bed and I laugh out loud, elated.

Once I’m safely in the small kitchen, I cup my hands around my mouth and shout, “Come and catch me if you can, Bakageyama!”

“Dumbass!” Kageyama screams in retaliation. Again, I’m laughing and it just feels so good. I’ve always been a happy person but my friendship with Kageyama has brought more genuine smiles into my daily life.

Kageyama suddenly appears in the frame of the living room, armed with pillows. “You’re dead, Hinata,” he says with a deadly stare. I gulp. We wait a few seconds, steadily watching each other. Waiting for the other to make a move.

“You don’t have to do this, Kageyama,” I say, testing my waters.

He shakes his head. “You don’t understand, Hinata.”

“Yes, I do, Kageyama. You don’t need to do this. You can put all of this behind you and we can start a new, better life. Better than this.”

Kageyama growls. “Hinata.”

I give him a tentative tooth and grin.

He reels his arm backwards. I squeal, dodging for the nearby couch. The pillow scrapes across my head as I tuck and roll. The landing hurts a bit but I could tell the hit would have been worse. Kageyama threw a pretty heavy pillow at a fast speed.

Before I can get out of my spot and move onto a new one, Kageyama is attacking my with a new array of pillows. I scream, laughter mixed with the sound. I can hear Kageyama’s amusement in his playful grunts as he continues to stuff pillows in my face.

I manage to shove him off and escape. Kageyama reaches out for me, his large hand curling around my ankle. It would have been alright if he hadn’t grabbed my prosthetic. The prosthetic wasn’t that secure due to my slick skin from the shower and the water that hadn’t come out of the crevices of the metal. The rip was painful. I yelp, tripping forward. Thankfully, I miss smashing my head against the corner of the coffee table though I am scratched on the way down.

Today just wasn’t working in my favor.

I groan as I hit the ground, grinding my teeth together to keep myself from crying and/or yelling. I’m able to hear the sharp inhale of Kageyama’s breath as he scurries closer to me. The whole atmosphere changes from playful to worry in a matter of seconds. I yearn for the playful attitude to come back. It doesn’t make a reappearance.  
I flip over onto my back and look up into Kageyama’s face which is much closer than I would have expected. I flinch away from the unexpected proximity. Kageyama’s blue eyes are clouded with worry. He’s awkwardly gripping my leg in the hand that isn’t supporting himself up.

He realizes how close he is and sits back on his heels, helping me up with a hand on my shoulder. “Oh, shit, Hinata, I’m the dumbass. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I’m so sorry.” Kageyama’s eyes are searching. Reassurance maybe. He swallow down whatever he was going to say next. Instead, he goes to push hair away from my face. My cheeks blaze heat as he scrapes across my skin. He gingerly touches a spot on my forehead. I flinch away when his touch stings. He grimaces. “I’ve got some pain meds I take when... I’m sore or something. And a band aid for your forehead. I’ve got lots of those. You’re bleeding.”

I touch my hand to my forehead. Sure enough, there’s a little wetness there, the color of roses. It’s not enough to raise alarm though, a band aid even maybe going overboard on the problem. Kageyama leaves me to go get these things as he helps me up onto the couch.

I rub at my stump, the skin raw and irritated after being abused so much today from the prosthetic being torn out too many times. The skin is inflamed. I decide against reattaching it. Kageyama will just have to deal with it.

He comes back with a large first aid kit in his hands.

“Baka, it’s just a little scrape. Barely more than a paper cut.”

He glares at me before sitting on the couch beside me. A few minutes of Kageyama cleaning the small scrape with anti-infectant pass. Finally he applies the band aid.  
“You’re not hungry, are you?”

I shake my head. I had lost my appetite earlier. “I’m just tired. Today has been exhausting.”

Kageyama grins viciously. “It’s only, like, eight thirty, dumbass.”

I roll my eyes. We sit in a few moments of silence filled only with the sounds of my subconscious rubbing at my stump. Suddenly shy and uncomfortable, I sheepishly glance at Kageyama. “Could I sleep with you tonight?” Kageyama sputters, glowing red. I swat my hands in the air. “Not like that, baka! Rain also tends to make my nightmares worse. I just- It might be easier to have someone next to me.”

Kageyama nods. “Yeah, yeah, duh.”

I laugh as well. “I also, uh, ha, I also need some help getting there...”

“Yeah,” Kageyama nods some more. He puts the first aid kit aside, standing. He puts an arm under my arms and I’m prepared to hobble to the room like we did in the gym earlier so I grab my leg. But Kageyama hooks another arm under my knee and lifts me up bridal style. I squeak, surprised, but otherwise remain silent and don’t mention it even as he lays me down on the bed.

“Thanks, Kageyama,” I murmur quietly. He nods. He doesn’t make a move. “Uh…?”

Kageyama clears his throat. “Um, you can go ahead and, uh, go to sleep. I’m kinda hungry so I’m going to go eat something.” I swallow, nodding. Kageyama turns to leave and I grab his wrist on impulse before I can stop myself. Kageyama turns to me, an eyebrow questioning me.

“Uh, thanks, Kageyama. I know we tease each other a lot but you really are my closest friend.” _Not to mention something beyond that_. I’m startled by my own thoughts but desperately try to ignore them.

Kageyama does his best to give me a soft smile. “Dumbass.” I smile even after he has closed the door shut. He said it in such a way where it sounded as if he was thanking me too.

I turn out the lights, slipping under the sheets of the bed. Light from the hallway slips under the door though not harshly.

My cheeks hurt as I fall asleep.

 

*******

 

_“Shoyou! Shoyou!” A desperate voice kept screaming hysterically. The voice was familiar. The situation was familiar. The voice kept screaming and screaming and yet it still didn’t feel right, none of it did._

_My brain could tell that this dream, this nightmare, was really a memory. This was something that had happened but..._

__This voice shouldn’t be here. __

_Something was misplaced. The voice was not from a woman but from a man. With only this little bit of information my heart starts to speed up dangerously._

_“Shoyou! Shoyou!” The voice keeps screaming my name. I start to panic. “Shoyou! Shoyou! Oh, god, Shoyou!”_

__Is that…? It can’t be…? __

_“Say something, open your eyes, do anything so I know you’re alive! Shoyou!”_

__Kageyama? __

_I strained to move my fingers, to reach out to where his voice was coming from. He worried me, his voice sounding distraught. And again my heavy lids and stubborn limbs wouldn’t let me respond. When I don’t respond Kageyama’s screams turned into grotesque racking sobs. I fought with all my might, trying to urge myself to respond._

_And I instantly regret as I do. The breath is instantly sucked from my chest as I see something more gruesome than my missing limb. Kageyama covered in blood and I instantly worry it’s his. But somehow I know it’s mine. Somehow I know that in this memory twisted nightmare that he’s holding my dead body._

_And it’s worse seeing his pain than feeling my own death._

_*******_

_A scream so intimate and filled with sorrow that you felt you should give the person privacy to deal with their grief echoed in the room. Only after my throat was scraped raw did I realize the screams belonged to me. I was disgustingly sweaty and uncomfortably hot. Tears wet my cheeks. I sit up, carding my hands through my hair._

_“Oi, dumbass, what the hell?” Kageyama rubs his eyes and glares at me._

_I jump at his groggy voice._

__Am I still dreaming?_ _

_It took me a minute to remember where I was._

__Kageyama’s room._ _

_I look around for a clock, not able to remember in my flustered state where it was. In my search, I notice moonlight spilling throughout parts of the room, providing a soft glow from the thin curtains. Streaks of the still on-going rain break through the light that creates interesting patterns spread across the room._

_I find the clock. It reads _ **12:49 a.m.**__

_“Hinata?” Kageyama had seemed to realize my distraught state and matches his voice to soothe me. His voice is gentle and delicate, his words cautious. He sits up as I cover my face with my hands. “Want to talk about it?”_

_I can’t breathe. Or maybe I’m breathing too hard. I don’t know._

_I look at Kageyama, feeling desperate. “Hinata?” Kageyama is hesitant. He reaches out his hand slowly and puts it against my cheek. He wipes at my eye with his thumb. I’m surprised I’ve been crying all this time, not just in my sleep._

_Kageyama’s touch is soft. His long fingers caress my cheek. I want to close my eyes and lean into the touch. But I keep myself from doing so. I don’t want to make Kageyama any more uncomfortable than he is. He eventually pulls his hand away and I get a chance to just look at him even as he studies me.  
With startling realization I can see that Kageyama is bare-chested, having abandoned his shirt. The simple sight dusts my face pink with warmth even though it’s definitely something I haven’t seen before especially due to the fact we share a locker room._

_He gives me a few more moments before he tries again, “Wanna talk?”_

_I rub the sleep out of my eyes before taking a deep breath. My voice is feeble as I speak. “I always have this dream, a nightmare is a better word for it, I guess. And it’s not even really a nightmare. I mean it is, but I meant, like, it’s not just my imagination. It’s a memory. A pretty bad memory.” I gulp, prepping myself to tell Kageyama something I’ve never told anyone else._

_“It always starts off the same way. I hear my mom’s voice screaming my name over and over again. And I don’t want to open my eyes because I’m super sleepy. But eventually I open my eyes and I always can’t see very well. But then I see this really, really pretty red color. I don’t know where it’s coming from but then I follow the trail and it’s always coming from the half of my right leg that’s left.” Studying Kageyama’s face shows he’s trying to hide his grimace but not really succeeding._

_“I have it every single night. It’s _always_ almost exactly the same. But, just now, the dream was different. Instead of my mom calling my name it was _you_. You sounded more desperate for a response. I think it’s partially because you don’t sound absolutely hopeless. It’s like a small part of you really thinks I’m going to say something. You asked for a sign that I’m alive. And I _wanted_ to open my eyes or move my fingers or _something_ and my body’s just not responding and it’s so _frustrating_. Usually, I can do _something_ , like open my eyes. After that, I heard you sobbing and it was so unfamiliar and I just--,” my breath hitches in my chest and I struggle to continue, “I wanted so badly to tell you I’m alright because it sounds so heartbreaking. But then I realized I’m dead but that’s not even the worst part. It’s what you sounds like, Kageyama! It was just so sad and horrible!” I start sobbing again. I lift my head partly to look at Kageyama._

_“That’s what was so scary, Kageyama. I never scream when I wake up from the dreams because it’s always the same thing, nothing new. I know what’s coming! I’m usually just sweating when I wake up. But this time I screamed and I was sweating and I was crying and I just--” I stop talking, tears dripping down my face. I stop talking because I see Kageyama’s own distraught face._

_“Kageyama?” I’m quiet now, my voice barely above a whisper._

_“Dumbass,” he says tenderly, “you should’ve told me about the dreams earlier. Then you would know that I’m always there for you whenever you need me. Despite my being a jackass, I actually want to be a good friend.”_

_I smile. “With you here, I’m invincible, right?”_

_Kageyama has startled warm laughter, surprised at my mimicking those words. “Right.”_

_I yawn and Kageyama immediately rolls his eyes. “It’s almost one thirty, we should get back to sleep, huh?”_

_I nod, going to go under the covers again. Kageyama lies under the sheets as well. “Thanks again, Kageyama.”_

_This time I don’t get an answer. I only get snoring._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please visit my tumblr sometime and send me some prompts or something like that!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suck it, dad

“Hinata, dumbass, get up!” Kageyama, calls from the kitchen.

I groan loudly. “Morning to you too, _Bakageyama_!” I imagine Kageyama’s eyes rolling in his head.

“I’m making breakfast, hurry up.”

I groan as I rub my eyes and sit up to get out of bed. “I don’t wanna get up,” I yell out to him.

Kageyama comes into the room, his footsteps heavy, grumpy like his usual self. “It’s almost ten in the morning, dumbass. Get up.”

“Still doesn’t motivate me, Bakageyama.” 

Kageyama rolls his eyes again. “You have to get up at some point though.” He crosses to the window, throwing open the curtains. The sky outside is a cloudy grey although it’s no longer raining. The little light the outside sky provides is enough to send me burying myself back into the sheets, slamming my eyes shut. Kageyama sighs. I hear him pad softly out the room, the door sliding open. I don’t hear it close. I pull off the sheets and peer around the room. The door is still open. I huff and sit up. The glaring _**10:02 a.m.**_ on the clock makes me groan and I finally make myself get up.

The smell of breakfast wafts through the door, chasing the sleep out of my body more thoroughly than anything else. I rush to scoot the edge of the bed, searching for my leg that I left laying on the floor. I find it and stretch my fingers to clasp it. And to my disappointment, the bed’s too far off the ground for me to reach it from the bed. And not for the first time, I curse my height… and my decision for laying my leg on the ground instead of leaving it upright. In one final attempt at stretching for my leg, I find myself toppling to the ground, my back landing against the wall, my legs curling up over me. Kageyama’s clock falls, adding to the embarrassing sound of the crash. With contemplating I stay in my position glaring at the prosthetic leg in view. 

Kageyama rushes in, a spatula in hand and a worry bright in his eyes. “What happened?” His eyes roll over the situation and rest on me as I shift my glare to him. A light, laugh escorts his words. “Are you alright?” He crosses to me, chuckling all the way. He squats, holding out his hand to me. I glare at him, then his hand. I roll my eyes and take it. 

Kageyama pulls me to my feet (foot rather), guiding me to the edge of his bed. He hands me the leg and I take it. He gives one last chuckle and exits the room, tending to the abandoned breakfast. I clamp on my leg, biting back the sharp pain that fades rather quickly. I walk to the kitchen and plop down into a chair at the table.

Kageyama puts a plate in front of me and I start shoveling food in. Kageyama digs in, eating quickly. “Oi, Kageyama?” I ask through a mouthful of food.

“Mmm?” Kageyama looks at me from under the blanket of his impossibly long lashes, sleep still fogging his movements. My heart constricts. My next breath is shaky. _Damn you, Kageyama._

“Are you sure you’re okay with… y’know?” I’m surprised at my own bravado for asking.

Kageyama quirks an eyebrow but soon connects the dots to what I’m talking about. “Not at all, that’s why I went through hell to help you yesterday.” Kageyama rolls his eyes, everything he says and does dripping with sarcasm.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” I eat more food. I’m not sure what I expected, but it’s astonishing to me that Kageyama knows how to cook and well. My jaw drops. “This is actually pretty good, Kageyama.”

Kageyama, again, rolls his eyes. “I don’t know why that’s so weird to you.”

I smirk. “I just assumed all brutes just ate stuff raw.” For that, I get hit. I whine. “Kageyama!”

“I wouldn’t hit you if you weren’t so annoying, dumbass.” Kageyama’s smiling again. He’s been doing that recently, I’ve noticed.

I reach over the table and smush his cheeks. “Don’t your cheeks hurt from smiling so much?” I ask, my voice taking on a teasing tone. Kageyama immediately stops smiling, trading it for his signature scowl. “No!” I pout and pat his cheeks, “I like it more when you smile.” My own cheeks grow hot from that. Kageyama blinks. He blinks a few more times before his own cheeks and ears glow.

He silently takes his and my now empty plate and places them into the sink. He walks over to the couch and sinks into it, his arm covering his face. I turn around in my chair to look at him, worried I’ve messed something up with my inability to shut up. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to ignore you.”

“Hey! Rude.” I slip to one of the few English words I know. “R-O-O-D; rude.” At that, the corners of Kageyama’s mouth twitch up. The single movement is enough to light up his face.

“It’s R-U-D-E.”

Crossing to the couch and sitting on the arm of it, I pretend to be annoyed and huff at Kageyama. “I know that, _baka_!”

“Then why’d you spell it that way when you knew it was wrong?” I steal a glance at Kageyama. Kageyama had the cutest little confused crease between his eyebrows. I smile to myself.

I glance at Kageyama before returning back to look at my hands. “You wouldn’t get it.” From the corner of my vision I see Kageyama roll his eyes. Smiling, I lean back, flopping onto the couch behind me. Kageyama grunts when my head almost lands on his leg before he pulls it out of the way. He lightly whacks me on the head for that. 

“Kageyamaaaaaaa,” I whine, “let’s do something.”

Kageyama groans. “No.”

“Yes,” I huff.

“No.”

I climb back onto the arm of the couch to be in a higher position of glaring. “Yes.”

Kageyama sees my challenge and then stands on the opposite couch arm making him even taller than normal. His head almost grazes the ceiling. “ _No_.”

“Sometimes you can be a real grump.” I cross my arms.

Kageyama glares at me. “Good one. I haven't ever heard that from you before.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever _baka_!” I stick my tongue out at Kageyama.

A pillow slams into my face and I fall over the couch onto the floor. I screech. I scramble to get up, clutching the pillow as my only ammunition source. Kageyama's already loaded with another one. I throw mine with all of my force. My aim is true. It hits him directly in the nose. He groans. I laugh.

“Dumbass!” He yells, dropping the pillow in favor for lunging at me. I'm beyond grateful that even after Kageyama knew about my leg he's really not treating me any different. He isn't treating me like I'm fragile.

Kageyama knocks me out of my thoughts by literally knocking the wind out of me as we both tumble to the ground. Kageyama lands on top of me and I let out an ‘oof’. We stay like this for a little bit, out of breath. I can already feel the tension building but I don't know if it's because I'm imagining it or if it's really there. My body is almost overbearing with heat but it's not exactly unwelcome.

“You would think you'd treat a guy better after finding out about his prosthetic leg,” I say cheekily.

“Shut up, dumbass. You were practically asking for it.”

“Oh yeah because the victim is always asking for it, right Kageyama?”

Kageyama lifts his head from where he was resting it against my chest to glare at me with those steely blue eyes. I blush and so does he. We quickly look away from each other. Kageyama sits back on his heels, letting me free. I scoot completely out from under him.

A loud jingle of keys comes from just outside the apartment perfectly breaking the tension between us replacing it with a completely different kind of tension. I’m confused before I remember it must be Kageyama’s father. We share a glance with each other before Kageyama is scrambling off of the floor and his simple actions speak louder than he ever has before. I follow Kageyama up, joining him. He seems frightened, his senses now much more heightened and aware. His jaw twitches. If _Kageyama_ is scared then it’s something worth being scared of. The boy almost never shows any emotion so any emotion he shows a normal person should be feeling that way too.

A loud bang sounds from the hallway of the apartment, echoing through the rather small space. The door slams and I see Kageyama flinch at the sound. He is curling his hands in and out of fists. A vein twitches. He swallows hard.

I’m terrified.

“ _Tooobbiiioooo_!” A deep, thundering voice seems to shake the whole apartment. His words are tainted by alcohol, making it hard to form them properly.

Kageyama and I wait in terrified silence. We can even hear him throw off his shoes unceremoniously, stumbling through the hallway. We watch as he goes to the kitchen. He doesn't even notice me there. He doesn’t even say hello to Kageyama.

“Where's my breakfast you little _shit_?!” His words are harsh and cold. From here, I can get a good, safe look at him. He's tall like Kageyama but Kageyama will certainly grow taller than his father in the space of a half year. His hair is black but curly, unlike Kageyama's. His eyes are a cold grey and from what I know about him so far it's a fitting color. He's a stocky build with surprisingly thick and corded arms. A small part of me (maybe even most of me) is glad that Kageyama shares so little physically with his father. This man, based on first impressions, is not a good one.

“You weren't supposed to be home until tomorrow.”

“Yeah, well, shit happens Tobio. Don't you dare question me anymore.” Mr. Kageyama finally bothers to look from the kitchen, turning sharply on his heel before abruptly halting to shift his unforgiving stare between Kageyama and I. I feel as if I don't move, Kageyama’s father, won’t be able to sense me. But this, unfortunately, is reality and his scrutiny does not spare me.

“Who the hell is this?” He spits out, glaring and, sadly, I'm reminded of Kageyama's own scowl. I flinch from the pure harshness coming from his words.

“He was just leaving,” Kageyama says quietly. I can't bring myself to believe the shakiness in his voice when he speaks. His father is no longer looking at me but at Kageyama, searching for answers. In turn, Kageyama takes my arm, his fingers curling and digging into my skin. I do my best to be the support he's seeking out by not flinching away.

Kageyama’s father grits his teeth, glaring more intensely at Kageyama. “That's not what I asked.”

Kageyama pauses before answering simply, “We'll be going now-”

“No you will not,” the man angrily says.

“We need to go-”

“You and I need to have a talk.”

They stare each other down for a few moments. It's like watching wolves testing each other to see which one will be the alpha.

Kageyama loses.

“Go home, Hinata.” Kageyama directs to me though he doesn't remove his focus on his father.

“But-”

Kageyama turns his head to look down at me. His eyes hold a menagerie of emotions. I see his pleading to me. I also see his fear, his sadness, his anger, his desperation. My heart aches for him.

I nod. I walk away. I feel their eyes on me, burning holes into the back of my skull. I forget about my stuff, not bothering with it. I leave without a word, silently slipping on my shoes. And then I find myself outside. On my own. Alone.

I hear muffled yelling and screaming. A slap echoes through the apartment, through my head.

And all I do is turn around and walk away without a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guyssssss, this sucks major ass (not in the good way) ugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *internal agony and screaming* seriously, my writing in this makes me cringe hard core brosksis
> 
> Someone give me affirmation
> 
> God, my writing in this is like the worst possible example of my writing ever. That's why I don't ever write in this story because I just think my writing is so bad. But I already committed. Let's try to end this in ten total chapters?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm bad at the social media thing but come yell at me anyways on tumblr; pi-writing. Seriously, it's like I'm my 93 year old grandpa stuck in a millennial who is supposed to be tech savvy.
> 
> Prompts always welcomed wherever you send them to me.


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